Why do less than half of women have an orgasm during sex?

How often do you orgasm during sex? If you’re a heterosexual women, chances are you only have an orgasm during sex 39 per cent of the time, compared to 91 per cent of men.

Recent research showed that heterosexual women tend to have fewer orgasms than their male partners  – as few as one for every three the guy experiences.

There is an ignorance about female genitalia

A survey from The Eve Appeal revealed that half of men cannot identify a vagina on a diagram, and whilst 60 per cent of women could label a diagram of the male anatomy, only 35 per cent correctly labelled female anatomy. This ignorance of the location of the clitoris, labia and the areas of most sensitivity leads to the orgasm gap. It’s seen as “harder” to make a woman orgasm, but this is simply ignorance.

Men’s satisfaction is overwhelmingly the marker of the end of sex

Girls can’t be bothered, boys don’t know what they’re doing, and there’s an overall apathy when it comes to giving women orgasms. The amount of times I’ve heard from my friends that “he couldn’t find my clitoris” is appalling, and this lack of conversation during sex is another problem. There are 8,000 nerve endings in the clitoris, double that of the penis, and 50-75 per cent of women can only have orgasms with clitoral stimulation (the clitoris’ only purpose is pleasure). Girls, especially in one night stands, won’t tell the boy what feels good, so he is more likely to just give up, have sex until he orgasms, then go to sleep.

In the student life, full of one night stands and casual sex, this is a disgrace. Why should sex be over when the man orgasms? Is female satisfaction not important?

Sex is more often than not defined by the male orgasm, not by the female, and there is a general apathy towards female satisfaction, especially in casual sex. When talking to friends about hookups, I always hear “he made me orgasm” in praise for the boy, but these conversations never happen between male friends as their orgasm is so assumed that they don’t need to bother with “finishing” the girl off.

Talk to your doctor

There are many gynaecological problems which could lead to an inability to have an orgasm. Holly, a third year philosophy student, said: “After over a year of experience with vaginismus – or extreme pain when trying to have sex – I had given up on having an orgasm. I was unaware what was happening to me before being diagnosed with vaginismus (pain during sex) and was given medical help. This, over time, allowed me to have pleasurable sex. I luckily had the support of my boyfriend in helping me with this, but I was also so embarrassed throughout the process that I wasn’t having the sex I thought everyone else was having.”

However embarrassing it is, regular painful sex is a problem that talking to a doctor can help with, and this help can ensure sex is pleasurable for the both of you.

How can we eradicate the orgasm gap?

Education is so important. So many uni students don’t know enough about the female anatomy, and health problems which could lead to painful sex are even less known about. Whilst, yes, it can be embarrassing, going to a doctor can be essential if you have unnecessary pain during sex. Sex should be fun and satisfying for all parties – not just the guy.