It's Sunday evening. You see that clubbers has popped up on Facebook. The tags and comments start flooding in.
Could it be you? You jived your way through Juju's this week, "candidly" canoodled that boy at Creme, slut-dropped to every remix at Rascals.
Just once in your life you'd like a chance at fame. Everyone gets their 15 minutes and these could be yours. You'd even take Best of the Rest ffs. Oh, to be praised as you strut into your Monday 10am, all eyes on you, whispers of jealousy as you walk past everyone. Yep, I know them. Saw them on Clubbers this week.
Did you make it?
Well, only one way to find out.
Stunner of the week
Easy, breezy, beautiful, Flare Mondays @ WhyNot
I'll have my publicist be in touch with your frog backpack
Dropped it lower than my dating standards, well done
But, of course
Creeper of the week
It's me, I'm Cathy, I'm by the DJ booth wya?
WTFs of the week
Going out sucks nowadays
The bar is low, but I can go lower
Always ends up like this after a night at Creme
She looks really good next to you mate
'Hey guys meet my friend from home'
I don't believe in love. But, I do believe in licking your friends faces.
Wankers of the week
A nice Tuesday night Corona-fuelled sesh, lovely
2010 called, been looking for you since you ran off the set of that LMFAO music video.
Pointing is rude.
Simmer down mate, it's Juju Club not the Vfiles NYFW afters
I'm sorry your mixtape didn't take off. No need to take it out on the Flare Mondays photographer
VKs, vodka, and that children's birthday banner.
Mutant of the week
I'm glad you're doing okay, was worried for a sec x
How I feel when I avoid awkward conversation with someone I kinda know
Too cold for ice lollies love
Mutant of the week runner up, but make it cute
If you're talking to someone and their pupils are this dilated it either means they think you're fit or they've just taken their weight in MD.
Young and unrequited love
Heroine of the week
Long sleeve tops at the clurrrb are a gamble, but one of us has to do it
'Let's get food'
Hero of the week
'If I were prime minister tequila shots would be £1 EVERY day of the week'
'Dude come back, I'm trying to show my mum I made friends at uni'
This quarter's statements show that I've spent a good chunk of the budget on jaegerbombs
Unhappy clubbers of the week
U wanna fight? After God's Plan plays tho
'Out of three contact hours, how many have you missed this week?'
Impressed? Definitely not
Someone save her
Should've just stayed in and watched Twin Peaks for the fifth time, jheez
Someone get the man on the left an ibuprofen
Best of the rest
'Do you really want to see how low my standards can go'
Jaegerbombs are the secret to essential youth, I read that on Into the Gloss
Blonde hair black bombers
David Wilkinson // Empirical