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How to throw a good flat party (and avoid it being shut down)

Such a step up from the Pollock pantry parties


Flat parties: the best thing since sliced bread. Or, at least they seem that way after a year of pres in the pantries of Pollock. Fresh into 2nd year, the prospect of the flat party lingers excitingly as the new and improved model for a night to remember. The keen beans amongst us have even had Facebook events in place since August to make sure that the first parties of the year will kick off in full force.

In anticipation of the 3-year-long flat party fad, here are my top tips on how to throw a good party, and avoiding it being shut down.

The guest list

The people that attend your party can quite literally make or break it. Having said this, don’t get overly preoccupied with girl/boy ratios, and don’t add people as fillers – there’s clearly a reason why that one rogue course friend didn’t make it onto the initial list. Equally, your party doesn’t need to be a who’s who of the BNOCs in Edinburgh – better off finding yourself a genuinely good group of people that gel well, and the party should make itself.

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Choosing the music

A fixed playlist is a must. No one likes an aux cable fiend, and it's a sure way to guarantee a weird mix of music that doesn't really flow. Find youself a playlist that actually suits the vibe of the event – if people wanted to have a MDMA-fulled night of head-banging DnB, they would've gone to Bongos. If you really want to pull out all the stops, find yourself a student DJ to supply some fresh tunes.

Dealing with complaints

No flat party seems to be complete without several noise complaints, some angry old man threatening to call your landlords, and at worst it being shut down. Importantly, make sure your friends know exactly which flat to arrive at, and subsequently, avoid being accosted by an angry Scottish man in his pyjamas. Also, don't let all your mates linger (smoking or otherwise) in the halls; your neighbours (and more importantly your landlord) will not thank you for this. Keep your neighbours sweet and pre-warn them of the event, and if shit really hits the fan, a cheap bottle of Tesco's Finest wine won't go amiss the next day.

The booze

No one expects you to provide any booze – you could not possibly supply enough alcohol to quench the thirst of binge-drinking Edi undergrads. However, although a BYOB rule will make sure the alcohol is flowing, make sure you as the host do not get fucked off your face, and spend the majority of your party wandering around with a massive '20' on your forehead, and personally declaring your love for each and every one of your 100 guests. Also bear in mind, cupboards will be raided for any booze/ glasses/or even a mid-event snack, so if you don't want stuff taken, move it – or hide it.

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Mayhem

A flat party is the perfect alternative to a night out for the oh-so-mature 2nd year, and with all the above taken into account, a night to remember is guaranteed.