The trials and tribulations of a night out in Edinburgh and how to overcome them

They’re actually really stressful

No money, exam stress, job applications. What do all of these have in common with a night out in Edinburgh? Nothing really.

But sometimes it feels like going out is an overly dramatic, self esteem dropping chore, most nights out are some of the best times you’ll have at uni. However on those occasions you’re being forced out against your will by your pals, it can feel like a real first world struggle.

Here’s some of these profound trials and tribulations and how to overcome them.

Deciding what to wear

It’s traumatic. You’ve looked through your wardrobe, your floordrobe AND your clothes chair, but you don’t own any going out clothes you actually want to wear. Everything looks shit on, and the one top that looks really good is also the one top you’ve worn out the past five nights out in a row. On top of that, you’ve had a Deliveroo for dinner and currently look as if you’re pregnant with burrito. Not buzzing.

The best way to get through this kind of drama is to agree to adopt a zero-fucks-given factor about the night. You’re not always going to look or feel your best, and while tonight may be one of those nights, tomorrow you’ll probably feel fit as fuck. Own your burrito baby! Wear whatever the hell you feel most comfortable in, whether it’s a top you’ve worn a thousand times, or one that’s brand new.

Don’t worry about what others might think, worry about how you feel. If you’re convinced you don’t have any going out clothes you like, wear your favourite casual outfit, or wear the super dressy outfit you love. Put on what you’re feeling at the time – whatever that may be. Once you’re feeling comfortable, you’re guaranteed a good night.

Where to go

Big struggle for me and those of us who cannot enjoy club music unless there are lyrics involved. I wish I understood how so many people enjoy repetitive patterns of soulless music without the aid of drugs. When I find out that my pals want to go to Cab Vol or Mash House or some event featuring an allegedly really famous and really talented DJ,  the night can be deemed a failure before it begins. This profound struggle can apply to anyone with the genre of music they strongly dislike.

I think in these situations you HAVE to go in with a positive mindset. Try and have fun for the sake of your friends and yourself, see if you can find something about the music you enjoy. Spend lots of time in the smoking area and at the bar till you feel drunk enough that for all you know your favourite song could be playing. Later make the case that you took one for the team this time and next night out you want exclusive S Club 7 and Busted bangers ringing in your ears at the Big Cheese.

Getting in

When you’re not in the mood to go out and the queue is ten hours long and it’s zero degrees, the world is essentially ending.

The best way to overcome this problem is to decide to either face it and wait, or go to Hive. Hive might not be classy but it’s a great night out. The queue is never too unbearable and the cheesy pop music they play can get just about anyone into the mood. Also, the seemingly constant police presence outside the place means that most of the time you can get in and out without looking like you’ve joined fight club.

The loss of Princes Street’s 24 hour Mcdonald’s

hmmm yum

The loss of this renowned institution’s 24-hour licence removal was incredibly heartbreaking, particularly for nights out in New Town where I’ve found drunk food to be far less attainable than in Old Town. The 24 hour McDonald’s with its iconic queue to get in and security at the door can never be completely replaced.

However, gotta get food somewhere and if your budget does not expand to meet the extravagant prices demanded at Pizza Paradise I would suggest a ScotMid Pizza (they’re actually not that bad), or Palmyra Pizza on Nicholson Street. The prices are decent and the kebabs and pizza there taste so nourishing at 3am. Just try not to look inside of there during the day.