An ode to Heebie Jeebies – Liverpool’s club with something for everyone

A scouse take on Gatsby’s parties


Liverpool is known for its boss nightlife, with pretty much free clubs left right and centre and the greasiest pizza places to appease any barefooted girl wandering around Concert Square at five in the morning.

However, if there's one place that you'd take a visitor to on a night out to see the sights, you'd head straight to Heebies – try to avoid the two hour queues of a Thursday, though people wait for a reason.

Three clubs in one

Your idea of a good night is dancing along to Cheap Thrills with your mates, but your fella would rather nod his head along to tech with the lads. To spend a night together you'd end up trekking around Concert Square and dragging people away from the club you wanna be in.

However Heebies allows you, your boyfriend and your kind-of indie mate to all be in the same building at once, as each floor plays completely different kinds of music. This changes dependent on the day, with Thursday's 'tech basement' becoming an indie go-to at 'EBGBS' another, so there's even more diversity.

The Courtyard

When you and your wide array of friends decide to convene, nine times out of 10 it will be in the Courtyard. Not only is it the prettiest courtyard you've ever seen, but it's also the most sociable place in Concert Square – you will see your primary school friends, the lad who works in Starbucks that you think’s fit, your ex, their ex – the lot.

Since the drinks are cheap – particularly on Thursdays – everyone is merry enough to just get along and have a good time. Also if you want a cigarette and try and get one, people will force one on you with great protestations against the pound you try and give them because you're all friends there and friends share fags. Wouldn't get that in London.

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Best place for an impromptu high school reunion

The toilets are a girl’s dream

There's plenty to say about the girls' toilets in Heebies. First off, the cubicles are big enough for you and two pals to squeeze in so they can drunkenly get you out of your jumpsuit. When you leave the cubicle you'll also make a whole bunch of friends. I once saw one girl with a ruined red lip after pulling get offered foundation and concealer by everyone in the toilet.

Who needs toilet salesmen elsewhere when there's people like this at Heebies? The lighting in the toilet also seems impeccable in your drunken state, and so you will undoubtedly take a selfie in the big fuckin mirrors they've got – it's an urban myth that Heebies is the most Instagrammed club in the UK for this very reason.

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'FUCKIN HURRY UP OUT THE TOILET I WANNA TAKE A MIRROR SELFIE' is a frequent chant of the Heebie Jeebies lavatories

It's quirky as fuck

You don't want to admit it, but being in Heebies makes you feel a little bit cooler than what you actually are, with the superlambanana of John Lennon, the red kissing skull lights and the wallpaper of the Victorian Woman.

It allows you to live out your inner indie, even though any other time you spend most days writing notes with Paperchase stationary whilst watching Gossip Girl on Netflix. Will also make your Instagram feed look great.

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It’s free (near enough)

Like all Liverpool clubs, the beauty of Heebies is that you don't have to spend a dime unless you want to go to the basement – which is like three quid – or on Thursday, its most popular night.

Aside from entry, Jaegar bombs are only two quid and drinks are affordable (and ridiculously cheap on student nights). To sum it up, this club is the holy grail of clubs and if you're in Liverpool you'd be daft to miss out on it, cause people like me who've moved away think of it every Thursday.

The Tab Edinburgh

last seen today at 10:07

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