A definitive list of the most disgusting things people do in lectures
Put your goddamn shoes back on
When you're hungover for a 9am lecture, everyone is in the same boat – we just want the hour to end. If getting up is enough of a struggle, it can be made considerably worse by the poor, and often grim, etiquette show by your fellow lecture-goers.
Here is a collection of the most grim things people do in lectures:
Sneezing in your hands
Honestly, whether you are in a lecture or not, this is a rule of thumb that everyone should abide by in 2018.
University is already a breeding ground of germs without people purposely spreading them. It is common knowledge that sneezing in your hands is straight-up unclean and completely unacceptable. By now we have developed a specific and accepted etiquette of sneezing, and doing it in your hands is not one of them. Here is a quick little go-to guide on how to sneeze properly.
Tip: in the case of an emergency when you do accidentally sneeze in your hands, go to the nearest bathroom and wash your hands. Make sure not to open the door with your snot-infested palms, but push it open with your shoulder instead!
Here's what NOT to do:
Here's what you should do:
Taking your shoes off
Picture this: You've just made it into your lecture on English Medieval lyric poetry (which is just as boring as it sounds). You just want to shuffle in, take as few notes as possible and leave again.
You're being distracted by the girl in front of you, who is restlessly scrolling through the ASOS website. You're being irritated by the people whispering behind you. You don't think the experience can get much worse until the unthinkable happens – someone near you takes their shoes off.
This is not kindergarten, it's not nap-time. It's not your room or your grandma's house. This is Appleton Tower, which means you keep your goddamn shoes on. I don't care how uncomfortable they are, I don't care if your socks are wet from the rain. Suck it up and wear your shoes like all the rest of us.
Cracking your entire back
There is something so irksome about the sound of popping joints interrupting the monotonous tone of your lecturer. I understand that the seats in George Square Lecture Theatre are not necessarily the most comfortable chairs out there. And sometimes, after having taken feverish notes for 45 minutes, your body gets stiff. But that does not make it necessary to swivel around, grab the back of your chair and twist your body until every single part of your spine has cracked.
Please, for everyone's sake, just wait until you're out of the lecture and in the comfort of your own home to crack your body.
Not blowing your nose
I understand – blowing your nose in the middle of a lecture is audible and embarrassing, and will most likely irritate most people around you. But there is only one thing that will irritate everyone even more – not blowing your goddamn nose. If I can hear the snot moving in your nostrils with every breath you take, you need to fix yourself for the good of everyone around you.
Kudos to the girl in semester one Sociology who asked me if I had a tissue and then proceeded to unapologetically blow her nose in it. Everybody take note.
Tip: take a moment to blow your nose vigorously before the lecture, thereby decreasing the likelihood of needing a tissue during
If all else fails – breathe through your mouth and just make sure the snot doesn't drip down your face.