Image may contain: Washer, Electrical Device, Appliance

People who police uni washing machines are the absolute worst

Get your paws off my silky drawers


Coming to university and having to do your own washing is effort enough, not to mention the extortionate prices of both washing machines and dryers – but what the average fresher doesn't anticipate is the self-proclaimed washing machine police that arise in every student halls.

Now, I understand that we're busy students and all that jazz, but patience is a virtue that we should all try and utilise. It only takes half an hour to wash clothes and there are multiple washing machines, so if people haven't come to collect their washing yet just calm the fuck down. Someone will. The washing machines are literally in the building you live in, you've not gone to a launderette. There's no bloody rush.

Image may contain: Washer, Electrical Device, Appliance

Whilst I've never left my washing for longer than ten minutes myself, sometimes these things happen.

What you should do in this small waiting period is go to the nearby common room and play pool or back to your room which is literally a 30 second walk away – what you shouldn't do is announce to the 400 person group chat that "washer 4 is done". The person won't forget about their £50 Levi's, and they're not going to leave it there all day, so don't passive aggressively message the whole fucking chat – people mute those chats for a reason and you're part of the problem.

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Do you really need to tell everybody?

Whilst it pisses me off, however, it is forgivable, and I understand that there are times this must be done. What is unforgivable, however, is the people who take it upon themselves to move your washing.

Do not put your sweaty, group chat keyboard warrior hands on other people's clothes. I don't care if I'm two minutes late or two hours, it's an invasion of privacy. This has never happened to me thankfully, but so often people find their clean washing on the floor. This is not okay. If you're trying to get past someone in a club and they're not moving, is it okay to pick them up and move them somewhere else? I didn't think so.

So next time you need to do your washing, just wait like everyone else, you'll get it done.