The Ultimate Edinburgh Student Cookbook: a collection of the worst meals made by students

Cooking at university comes with many problems; it is time consuming, it can be costly and it can be hard to keep your meals interesting when you are cooking with primarily the same ingredients most of the time.

Let's face it, we've all had our low points, when the cupboards have been practically empty, much like our bank accounts. But no matter how little money or time you have, you still have to eat.

We asked around to see what other students had eaten when times were hard and some of the responses we got were absolutely mind-blowing. Some were the most creative dishes we'd ever heard of, and quite frankly, the rest should be illegal.

So here goes:

Cheesy Wotsits, wrapped in cheap ham

Wotsits are great, and cheap ham is fine, but the mere thought of the combination of the two is enough to make our skin crawl. Imagine the texture when biting through the watery ham, immediately experiencing the crunch of the Wotsit. Then as you chew more, the two elements get to know each other, and form one mushy substance. Not to mention that the Wotsit to ham ratio would be very unbalanced. All in all, this isn't an ideal meal.

Skinless Chicken Nugget Curry

This meal was drawn to my attention when someone was making themselves a chicken curry, but hadn't bought any chicken to go with it. They were having their curry and nothing was going to stop them. They tore open their bag of chicken nuggets, brutally stripped them of their bread crumbs and "plopped them in". I don't think any kitchen has ever seen anything so graphic.

They're blocks of cheese, not butter

Mouldy Broccoli Pesto

Veg lasts a pathetic amount of time. It's one of the things you buy, never use entirely and end up having to throw out. Not anymore though. Apparently if you pop it in the blender, add a bit of S & P, "bang it on some pasta", you've got yourself some perfectly good broccoli pesto.

Aunt Bessie Stuffed Up With Mac Cheese

Yorkshire Puds, stuffed with cold Mac n Cheese. It has been known to happen, and soon enough I'm sure it'll be known to have killed people.

Tinned Hotdog Lasagne

Times are hard when you have to use 82 per cent chicken hot dogs to liven up your lasagne. Nobody wants a brine-based lasagne.

Spaghetti alla Frozen Peas

Surely there can't be many flavours tickling the taste buds with this one. The worst thing about this one is that the two textures would be grossly similar, the soft spaghetti and peas would amalgamate into one green mess.

Tomato Pasta

Okay, so this doesn't sound bad at all. But it does when I tell you that the tomato element came from the tomato soup that was poured over the pasta, and the fact that the dish was lightly garnished with a sprinkling of crisps makes it that much more depressing.

Peanut Butter & Heinz Baked Beans

This has got to be by far the most alarming dish that was drawn to our attention. He witnessed his own flat mate alternating between a jar of peanut butter and a tin of cold baked beans with the SAME SPOON. Lock him up.

Savoury Ice Lollies

These came in the form of frozen Yorkshire Puddings being eaten straight from the freezer as a snack. It became a regular snack for them.

Penne alla Apple Sourz

Yes, you read that right. What the fuck were they thinking? Having a drizzle of lemon on your food is a bold enough statement, but Apple Sourz…that really is outrageous.

Sausages, cooked with cheese and orange squash

Believe it or not, the chef who came up with this dish was the very same as the one who created the dish above. Let's hope they don't get their own restaurant one day. You'd get a side of heart failure with anything on their menu.

Egg and Onion Chowder (with cheesy beans and brown sauce)

Even Google would struggle to tell you what this dish actually is. Imagine an onion soup, and now imagine an egg soup. That's where things get difficult. Egg and onion chowder is the two being mixed together, and the side of cheesy beans and brown sauce is merely a formality, so we hear.

Noodles and Gravy mmm

Mashed Potato Sandwich

Two slices of thickly pre-sliced white bread, no spread, and a dollop of mashed potato. You've got yourself the worst sandwich this world has ever seen. Don't you dare try it.

Uncle Ben's Savoury Rice with Peanut Butter

The approach is understandable. Trying to bring out some of the authentic flavours. But really, don't try and take shortcuts. Microwaveable rice and peanut butter are never going to work out.

The above list could do many things for you. Either inform you that your cooking isn't actually THAT bad. Or maybe it will give you some inspiration in the future when you're struggling to be creative in the kitchen (hopefully not though). You probably won't feel so bad now when you have Doritos and Dip for dinner one night.