The definitive list of all the things you shouldn’t do during your first year at Edi

Freshers' Week can be scary, exciting and overwhelming, but ultimately its a week you'll never forget.

Friends are made and lost within the course of a night as you save that-nice-girl-from-the-bathroom-who-liked-your-shoes' number, promising to meet up for coffee the next day, then forget all about it after your fourth jagerbomb in half an hour.

If you've survived this roller-coaster, then you can survive the rest of the year, but only if you follow these tips on all the things you should not do during your first year at Edinburgh.

Don't sleep with your flatmate

As tempting as it may be to just go for it when your fit flatmate is drunk and asking for a cuddle, remember you have to see them probably at both yours and their worst for the rest of the year. Don't shit where you eat, its a mess for all involved.

I just slipped and fell into his bed i swear!

Don't spend your life in the library

If you find yourself spending most of your time in the library, you're not doing first year right. This year is for doing the bare minimum and just scraping 40 per cent to pass, so pick up the mac book air mummy and daddy bought you for uni and trot off back to your bedroom. Leave the much needed library seats for those with *real* deadlines…

All you do is reserve a desk and go on a 4 hour smoke break

Don't spend all your life in halls

Your halls may be the greatest out of all the uni halls, but those four walls do not a well rounded student make. Head out to hang out with friends from different halls, or better yet, go along to some taster sessions for societies or clubs.

There's so much going on, and you're certainly not too cool to attend any of them, so get off your arse and down to the meadows. Who knows, you might become the next captain of the Holyrood Hippogriffs.

Don't forget to celebrate

The party doesn't stop after Fresher's Week! There's plenty of occasions we Edi students like to use as an excuse to get pished! From the annual varsity rugby match taking place next weekend at Murrayfield (cue hot rugby players galore), to the long awaited St Patrick's day parties on Cowgate, don't forget to bring a bottle out for any occasion!

When you're nine pints in and realise you have a tutorial later

Don't forget the free food

If you missed out on the chance to nab some free pizza then shame on you. But never fear! There's plenty of welcome events organised by lecturers who know how apathetic students are, where there's tonnes of free food! Who cares if you look like a keen bean, there's free food! God's greatest gift to man.

I have no idea what this talk is for, just here for the free donuts

Don't leave it too late to find flatmates

Don't wait to long when deciding on who you're going to live with next year, because everyone will be getting things sorted quicker than you realise, and before you know it, you're stuck with weird Simon from upstairs who always tries to invite himself to invite only parties.

At the same time, don't rush into anything. You could have decided by November, only to realise that one of your future flatmates turns into the devil come exam time, leaving dirty dishes in the sink then screaming at you to do the washing up.

Don't think you're above Hive

As you go through the year, you'll come to realise that Hive is an answer to any question that could ever be asked, and you're not above it by any means. Hive is like the perfect one night stand, always easy, mostly satisfying, and you're guaranteed to get fucked no matter what. Love it or hate it, you'll always end up back there, no matter how many times you said would be the last time.

Hive is love, Hive is life

And if you choose not to follow this advice, well, don't say I didn't warn you…