Small Boobs, Big Heart: Why does it matter what I wear on a night out?

So stop asking me what I’m wearing tonight

I hate that before every night out I am asked the same question: “what are you wearing?”.  This question can be fun and harmless but it depends on what purpose it’s used for. Really, you should trust yourself enough to decide. We are in constant anticipation and apprehension of what others think of us and it needs to stop.

It’s not like it’s that interesting that you’re going for black jeans. I’m not denying a place for fashion or dress code but this goes deeper. We care too much about what other people think of our appearance and it’s getting unhealthy.

As well as this, you always wear your go-to but ask to see if your friends are going “slutty”. It’s time to stop thinking of clothes as “slutty.” “Slut” is a word used to control and shame women’s sexuality. There is nothing “slutty” about clothing.

Men enjoy looking at attractive women. Women enjoy looking at attractive men (can confirm that one). Women enjoy looking at attractive women for all that. There’s no harm in it. This behaviour will not stop regardless of how attractive you are, or how you dress. So, I implore you wear what you want.

How did we become so affected by the thoughts of others than we no longer feel confident about ourselves? You only have to look in your camera roll to find posts that never made it, screenshots of messages and selfies to realise the extent to which we overthink and prioritize the opinions of other people. My remaining storage goes some way to proving that more of my life is taken up with others than I would like.

Indeed, isn’t asking someone what they’re wearing out one of those easy questions you ask when you aren’t quite sure what to say? Up there with the best selling phrase book of ‘how was last night’ and the really shitty ‘how’s things’ type questions. Clearly, it’s also become increasingly hard to talk to people, or maybe that’s just me.

Even on more edgy night where people want to look different everyone looks the same. If you don’t have a black hoodie on you somewhere, then you probably aren’t meant to be there.

Recently, I overheard a conversation about this in Teviot and it’s the same one I have with my friends all the time. It bothers me because it highlights how obsessed with surface we are. Particularly, what we look like and how afraid we are to act without asking others.

I guess this is my attempt to try to help people to realise this and maybe care a bit less. And it’s true like: who cares what you wear. This question for me encapsulates how governed we are by others without even being aware of it.

You do you. After all, as long as you end the night without any clothes on, does it really matter?