Classical music will solve all your problems

Beethoven’s ‘Moonlight Sonata’ is a banger

A couple of nights ago, I attended a Mozart recital in Usher Hall in Edinburgh. I was shocked as I struggled to see anyone surrounding me in the audience that didn’t have grey hair and a concession bus pass.

Having grown up surrounded by classical music, naturally I have developed a passion and admiration for it. And no I’m not some socially inept nerd who lives in the library. Believe it or not, I still love drinking 500 Jager bombs and listening to techno music (at the same time).

See I have a friend and alcohol!

Classical music’s not just for enjoyment. It’s the solution to all your problems:

Is your 2:1 degree mark disintegrating before your very eyes?

Lucky for you, people that listen to classical music are proven to be more intelligent than those who don’t, so quick, before it’s too late, get Chopin blasting through your surround sound speakers.

Often feel dumb compared with your mates?

If you can identify the differences between a French and an Italian overture, you immediately have cultural superiority over the majority of your peers. Because there must be a point in life when we all make the conscious decision to stop listening to Drake ‘singing’ about how many hos he’s fucking.

Bored of your weekly night out to Hive?

Here’s something new you can try – a classical music concert. Students have access to any seat in the theatre for only £6 for a guaranteed display of pure, raw talent. Go early for a pre-show drink, and don’t forget to pre order another for half time!

Definitely one to add to your Lizst of things to do (please appreciate my pun).