Singles of the week

Up like Trump


I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need. In the words of our Queen Mariah, help make our singles’ wishes come true.

They’ll need more than mulled wine to keep them warm when it’s cold outside.

Rachael, second year, Chinese and Economics

The girl herself

Which Spice Girl are you?

Victoria Beckham because where are the others now?

Best club night?

Anything edgy

Ultimate crush?

Donald Trump

Starbucks order?

The one that hasn’t been invented yet

Why should someone date you?

They probably shouldn’t

Last song you listened to?

Can’t remember, something you probably haven’t heard of to be honest

What do you want to do when you graduate?

Have all of my peers work for me

Would you rather have a penis for a nose or the moral compass of Donald Trump?

Refer to above, no question necessary

Well then. If you’re a Trump-loving, Cab Vol going overlord then get in touch, although this Posh thinks you ‘probably shouldn’t’…

Maybe that’s a challenge?

Kyle, second year, Geology and Physical Geography

Kyle’s on the right

Which Spice Girl are you?

Sporty because I love sport

Best club night?

P-row because who doesn’t love friends, VKs and cheesy music

Ultimate crush?

Jennifer Aniston

Starbucks order?

A large Americano, black. Because I always need a caffeine kick and don’t want to spend £4.50 on a pumpkin spice latte.

Why should someone date you?

Like most people I enjoy going out, getting drunk and having fun but would take a night in watching a movie with some good food over a night at the club any day. Apart from Saturday because big cheese. I love food, cooking, sport, gaming, and most importantly my dog.

Last song you listened to?

Bitch, don’t kill my vibe – Kendrick Lamar

What do you want to do when you graduate?

Probably work in the oil industry or mining of some sort

Would you rather have a penis for a nose or the moral compass of Donald Trump?

Definitely the penis nose because Trump is a twat

If you want to go on a date with Kyle, get in touch so he can rock your world (Geology? Get it?). And he loves food and his dog so you can’t argue.