What does your summer holiday say about you?

This is definitive

How you choose to spend your summer obviously defines you as an individual.

Whether you’re working off your student debt, building schools in Paraguay or absorbing the crunchy vibes at Bestival, it’s important to know how you will be perceived by your peers when it comes to your holiday.

Here’s our guide to figuring out what your holiday says about you.

Festival wanker

Lord Pinger of Gurnsville

As soon as festival season arrives, you’ll be packing up your ciggies and your siggies to head over to various oddly-named festivals across the UK.

You’ll proudly tell your friends Milo and Cece you’re saving money going abroad by camping out at Boomtown, Secret Garden Party and basically any other field in the home counties with a few tents on it.

S0 MuCh 3dge

S0 MuCh 3dge

Little do they know you’ll actually be spending half of your trust fund on drugs. On your budget-saving adventure, you’ll actually end up paying £200 to spend a weekend with people no more than two degrees of separation from you and pretending to enjoy bands you’ve never heard of.

And after your drug and alcohol fueled bender, you’ll only have vague, Instagram-tinted memories of what happened over the course of the weekend.

The Working (Wo)Man

Working 9 to 5

Working 9 to 5

You’ll take great pride in the fact you’re leaving behind your Edinburgh roots to earn some dollar over the summer.

While working in the local village pub for a couple of months, you’ll start referring to yourself as working class, join a union and put a poster of Marx above your four-poster bed.

Your friends will be fed up of hearing about how doing “manual labour” and using your hands was an earthy and humbling experience.

The gap summer traveller

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Shortly after finishing your exams, you’ll fly over to Thailand to start your short South East Asian journey of self-discovery.

After your friends have endlessly told you two months doesn’t equate to a year, you’ll start referring to this spiritual awakening as a “gap summer”.

You’ll get your nose pierced, get a tattoo of an irrelevant noun in Chinese symbols and decorate your wrist with pointless itchy bracelets.

At one with nature, yah

At one with nature

Within only two months, you’ll return to uni refusing to wear shoes so as to feel at one with nature.

And your room will be decorated with a factory-made tapestry you bought in the Bangkok night market in the vain hope of showing your crush just how cultured you are.

The international volunteer

Modern day heroes

Modern day heroes

You are a deeply caring and giving person. Despite refusing to spare 50p for the local homeless bloke, you’ve decided to go on a CV-boosting trip to Tanzania to build shoddy-quality schools.

Or maybe you’re a eco-warrior and flying thousands of carbon miles away to work on eco-sustainability in Guatemala, doing a job which could be much better done by, say, a Guatemalan.

Either way, this trip is totally selfless. And a way to get a really great Tinder profile picture.

The intern

Managing Director of Coffee-Making Facilities

Managing Director of Coffee-Making Facilities

Your raw ambition and intellect means you’ve managed to secure an internship at a top London bank this summer. Congratulations!

All of your friends will eagerly look forward to you showing off about your high-powered job in Canary Wharf as you take Snapchats of you suited-up at your desk.

You’ll talk about how your boss is an “absolute nightmare”, even though you’ve only really brushed past them in the corridor. The long night hours you work will become a grim badge of pride to brag about between you and other miserable interns at law or accounting firms.

You’ll enjoy a brief feeling of accomplishment texting your mates about your 18 hour stint yesterday. And then you’ll get back to making coffee and editing Excel spreadsheets.

The lads and ladettes

ALL THE LADS

ALL THE LADS

Welcome to your discount Mediterranean concrete beach resort, filled with locals who’d like to see you dead.

You’ll go to a foam party where, while trying to play it cool, you’ll constantly be worrying about whether you’ll get some horrendous STD from the fluids flying around.

CHEEKY NANDOES M8

It’s not a big night until Gaz has thrown up or Mikey has skinny-dipped. And everyone will take every opportunity to get their tops off to engage in a mating ritual fuelled by bottomless fishbowls of suspiciously-coloured drinks.

And, in the morning, you’ll finish most stories about what happened the night before with Classic Steve and complaints of either how burned or hangover you are, or if you’re lucky, how chuffed you are with yourself for getting laid.

The jet setter

Wish u were here x

Wish u were here x

Wearing your Ray Bans, you’ll hop from London to Jamaica. LA to Africa. Making sure to Instagram every aspect of your adventures to make sure every single one of your friends hates you come September.

You’ll claim you’re “doing Asia” when in actual fact you’ll spend three weeks in four countries. You might spend one night in a hostel for the laughs, but chances are you’re getting tables of Dom at beachside clubs and staying in five star hotels in the centre of capital cities. And all this is courtesy of mummy and daddy’s delicious air miles.

The family guy

Despite 20+ years of experience telling you a family holiday will only involve arguments, tears and your mum getting getting drunk on two glasses of rosé, the prospect of free booze and food is too much to resist.

You’ll be lying by the pool, reading your kindle as your parents bicker over where to go for dinner.

Meanwhile, you’ll try to block it out by listening to an outdated iTunes playlist of cheesy beats and thinking about why the summer loving holiday romances promised by Grease never really happen.

Free booooze

Free booze

Have a lovely holiday.

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