In defence of Edinburgh’s international students

Y’all need us

9 years ago | UPDATED 7 years ago

We’re your flatmates, your course pals, and maybe part of your academic family.

And as interesting and cultured as we like to think we are, you probably think we’re a pain in the ass.

Some of our accents are so thick you can barely understand us, and you might just find us mumbling to each other in a different language.

Or alternatively struggling to understand your accent.

We’re in your country now and we’re making it better.

But with how annoying you might think we are, we’re a welcome addition.

Our ridiculous university fees fund your lives

If you’re coming from Scotland, you’re probably not paying a red cent, or even know what that means.

And if you’re coming from somewhere in the UK, fair enough, you’re probably paying a painful amount of money.

How many times a year do you see this?

But we all know that most of the universities funding comes from the disgustingly posh, overseas wankers who didn’t need a scholarship and whose tuition would give you a heart attack.

We’ll smuggle you food

You remember that chocolate that you had on your holiday, and how it was the best chocolate you’d ever had in your whole life and you haven’t found it in any shop since?

You’re welcome, friends.

Well, thanks to international students, we can smuggle that life-changing food across the border for you.

You’re welcome.

The accent is an automatic ice breaker

We all know how awkward it can be meeting people for the first time.

Whether it be your hall mates on the first day of uni, or some strangers at the party your mate dragged you to, we’ve all been faced with that heart-stopping moment of “what do I say?”.

Thankfully, if you’re stuck with a foreigner, the accent is an automatic icebreaker so you’re not stuck in silence or, worse, the “the weather was nice today” conversation.

We give you an excuse to celebrate lots of holidays

Sure, you guys here have Christmas, New Years, Easter, the usual holidays. And to be fair, you do have Guy Fawkes and Burns night.

But because we’ve come all the way to Scotland for university, we’ll teach you about our holidays.

Welcome to thanksgiving, bitches.

Be honest, how many of you have unnecessarily celebrated Thanksgiving, Holi, Chinese New Year, or Diwali?

We’ve pretty much shipped over an excuse for you to eat more, party more, and work less.

We can talk to the foreign lecturers for you

That lecturer that you can hardly understand probably learnt his subject in his original language.

So when you’re hitting your head against the desk because you have no idea what’s going on, we’ll come to your rescue and ask the lecturer in his original language what he’s on about.

You can visit us during the break for a cheap vacation

Maybe after dealing with you twats for the entire year, we’ll give you the opportunity to come visit us in our cool, cultured, overseas lives.

Just pay the pricey flight or train and you can stay with us and have a non-tourist over seas experience.

Whoop whoop

So really, you’re welcome for us invading your country.