We don’t have the balls to cheat in our exams

Cheaters are a rare breed at our proud establishment


Less people are cheating every year at Edinburgh, with only three getting caught last year. 

But many believe it’s the getting caught that’s key. One second year said: “I reckon cheating would be pretty easy, I mean, if I had to do it, I’d probably just stash some notes in the toilets.”

And another thinks it’s simpler than that: “Calculator covers.”

Only two tried to beat the system with notes in books last year

Edinburgh invigilators come in two distinct breeds. The majority will sit at the front of the exam room barely raising their eyes for the full 2 hours.

Others creep along the rows, determined to catch that student who has written verb conjugations under their shoe.

But figures do show the recorded cases of cheating at Edinburgh have taken a hit in recent years.

Only two tried to up their grades with notes and textbooks on them last year, while just one was found using their phone.

Not recommended

And premature exam celebrations don’t seem to be popular, with “no cases of the removal of students from examinations on suspicion of intoxication.”

Even the lecturers attitude matches the student body: “‘There have been no cases of teaching staff found to be colluding or cooperating with students.”

Sneaky

How dull.