So you’ve made it to Edinburgh…here’s what to do next
School’s out – it’s time to get in with The Tab
Perhaps you’ve just returned from your gap year. Thailand, was it? Orphanage in India? You probably had an awesome time and I have no doubt the rest of your floor in halls can’t wait to hear all about it, every little detail.
More likely, you’ve spent the summer working in a bar, blowing your cash at festivals, going on your “last ever family holiday” and are just buzzing to get out of your parents house and find people who “just, like, understand me”.
Congratulations, you never have to go to school again. (Unless you’re studying English in which case you’ll be back teaching in 5 years.)
Your days of arse achingly lengthy assemblies are over and people will no longer care if your top button is undone. (Well that’s not entirely true, head to Cab Vol on a Tuesday and you’ll see what I mean.)
Welcome to university, a place where you will make and break many promises to yourself. A place where you tell yourself the work will be a breeze, you’ll wing the odd essay, make it onto the 1st XI and go out at least 4 times a week.
Whilst all of these may not happen, you are going to have a phenomenal time.
Make the most out of it, be impulsive and make mistakes (they’re usually pretty fun) because before you know it you’ll be back at home sucking the tin foil of your mum’s leftover meatloaf. Euphemism not intended.
You are entering one of the world’s top twenty universities and following in the footsteps of many great men and women; David Hume, Arthur Conan Doyle, the other two Middletons and Francis Boulle.
Welcome also, to the world of student journalism. A world full of egotistical wannabe journalists, intensely patronising explanations of ‘student issues’ and layers upon layers of attempted irony.
Ironically (incorrect use of the word) we at The Tab are different.
We don’t think you have to be an arsehole for producing articles that students want to read whether it be to the detriment of their productivity or not.
We don’t want to patronise our readers, we won’t be condescending.
We will try to avoid long, impressive words like condescending (see how that was also patronising?)
It’s not that we think all students don’t want to be ‘intellectually challenged’, it’s that we think trying to do that with a student news article about the library extending its opening hours is perhaps not what readers want.
To quote, arguably, the most influential power couple of the 21st century: “This could be the start of something new”.
The Tab will crop up everywhere, we’ll bring you news as it breaks and generally provide a safety net of student related chat you may have missed out on should your ignorance get the better of you.
This year, as with every year since our founding in 2013, we’re getting bigger, better, and (hopefully) sexier.
In the run up to fresher’s week and the first month of term, we’ll be posting loads of stuff to help you get the most out of your university birthing period.
From club guides and takeaway recommendations to hangover cures and freshers’ fails, The Tab Edinburgh has got you covered.
Already boiling over with excitement? Well hold onto your snap backs, re-adjust your boxers and wring out your knickers, because we, The Tab Edinburgh, are looking for YOU!
That’s right, you pink skinned, innocent eyed, talcum powder scented fresher urchins, we need you to join our crack team of writers/social crusaders/rising behemoths of media.
Even if you don’t fancy writing, but you’ve heard some great gossip on campus, we still want to hear from you: catch us at [email protected]
Or pitch your stories via Facebook. And get this – if your story’s got juice, we heard the big guns over at Tab HQ will actually give you money.
Anyway, that’s all for now, folks. Congratulations again – we hope you have a fabulous first year making great friends, going on unreal nights out and, pretending that you have classes in Old College.
Lots of love, The Tab Edinburgh x