12 WAYS TO SURVIVE EDINBURGH’S COLDEST WINTER

Every year, the government announces that Scotland is going to face its coldest and most miserable winter ever. This year is no different. The first snowfall is predicted in the next couple of weeks.

Heating is expensive…

How will poor students cope with the plummeting temperatures WITHOUT spending money on heating? Following are a few ways you can avoid the cold this year:

1. Do not live in Marchmont.

2. Live above a pub or any other warm venue.

3. Hide in the library toilets until everyone has left and sleep on the second floor. There’s ample toilet roll and Wi-Fi, what more do you need?

Some people haven’t quite got it right.

4. Replace all fluids in your life with mulled wine. Ditch coffee or tea, they’re not seasonal enough.

5. Buy a book of raffle tickets and move between clubs on George Street, collecting (stealing) coats until you find the elusive fur jacket.

6. Pie off your exams and go home a month earlier than you probably should.

7. Befriend a large person for cuddles.

8. Don’t shave (you too ladies).

This guy is warm AND cool.

9. Download the Just Eat app.

10. Stock up on tinned food and hope to survive the winter.

11. Stay in bed all day with countless Christmas movies. You’ll probably still be cold, but you’ll feel warm and fuzzy inside.

12. Buy one of the “reasonably priced” university hoodies, available at the Visitor’s Centre and the Pottershop…

We at The Tab hope this helps. One more thing, don’t buy a onesie unless you want to look like a bell end.