Club by Night

We at The Tab know you want to have the best time in Edinburgh, and we’re here to help. This day-by-day guide is all you need (at least for freshers) to decide where your late nights will be spent. Ignore anything different.

Monday

‘Flare’, Why Not: The only choice for a Monday night. It has the reputation as the biggest student night in Edinburgh and boasts drinks deals such as £1 shots. For the adventurous they offer the ‘Jetpack’ which send you from sweet to beat in four mouthfuls. Standard music though, chart with some classic hits thrown in. But the music is irrevevant. Company is the key! Be warned though, the hangovers are brutal.

Tuesday

‘I Love Hip Hop’, The Bongo: The highlight of the week. Don’t worry about getting drunk, the bar queue and prices are enough to put you off anyway. Hip-hop, rap and R&B blare from the speakers as guests bump and grind around you. Don’t turn up before 1AM or it can feel quite awkward. Get there later however and it’s a party like no other. No dance move can look out of place here, slutdrop if you want, nobody cares. Go here just to have a sick time.

‘Candyboxx’, Opal Lounge: An alternative to Bongo. Their move to Opal suits us, no longer will we be involuntarily touching up the lucky rascal in front of us… Featuring a solid music setup, house and dub remixes of big songs throughout the night, not to mention guest DJs such as Jamie XX, Porter Robinson and Mark Knight, being drunk doesn’t matter so much. Just get loose and enjoy the night. Tuesday is a tough choice so mix it up each week to keep it fresh.

Wednesday

‘STAY GOLD’, Cabaret Voltaire: Come on, it even sounds good. There are two floors, but head deep downstairs for the cave. Don’t worry about dressing up, throw on a loose tee and some vans to fit in. It’s small though so wear something light, or be ready to get sweaty. From a classic hip-hop room to another with house, disco and soul, it’s sure to keep you interested. Only £3 with guestlist, so make sure you’re on.

Thursday

‘Vanity’, Why Not:  ALWAYS busy. The queue for the cloak room is longer than the queue to get in. Getting to the bar is equally as problematic. But so worth it. Despite fairly expensive entry and not so cheap drinks, ‘Vanity’ is still one of the most popular student nights in Edinburgh. From a guys perspective it’s easy to see why…. Expect quite a posh night so get dressed up. The photographer is a hero though, he could make Vicky Entwistle look like Vicky from Geordie Shore. It doesn’t stay respectable for long however. Their small mixers teamed with bouncy music lead to a very loose night. Bring your card as cash almost never suffices.

Friday

‘Propaganda’, Liquid Rooms: The Friday night fix. This is completely different to anything seen the last four nights. With music featuring The Arctic Monkeys, The Libertines and The Killers, it is clearly not the stereotypical club night. With good drinks offers, good music and a good crowd, it’s hard to go wrong here on a Friday night. It’s the little change that is needed after a week of dance music. It’s also an escape from the student nights, as LR opens it’s doors to all of Scotland’s finest.

Saturday

The Shack:  Saturdays are difficult, everywhere that you might go midweek bumps their prices up for the older audience and should therefore be avoided. This little gem however is a brilliant place to go. A comedy club throughout the week and afternoon, it transforms into a nightclub on Saturday night for a whole host of people to enjoy their cheese board of a playlist.

‘The Big Cheese’, Potterow: The best selection of cheese can only be found in Edinburgh University’s very own nightclub. Note that you have to be VERY DRUNK to enjoy this night. So stumble down to Bristo Sqaure and don’t be surprised if you end your night singing along to the ‘Lion King’.

Sunday

The Jazz Bar: the week has come to a close and energy is depleting rapidly. But a night can’t be wasted, especially not in Freshers’ Week. The solution is simple. Hit The Jazz Bar. Don’t think about it too much or it might seem like a ridiculous idea. With cheap entry and an electric atmosphere it allows even the most outrageous of humans to feel sophisticated. At the beginning of the night, laughs will be shared about the old couple dancing on what is probably not even a dance floor. But a few hours in, and a few Southern Comforts later, there’s no preventing a cheeky strut. So sit back, enjoy some live jazz and recover from the week to look forward to doing it all again starting tomorrow.