Therapets? No, bad dog!

Recently, Emily Rushton reported that Edinburgh was spending its hard-earned cash on puppies, to try to reduce student stress. They aren’t the first uni to try this as a sort of pre- and post- exam detox, and now with news that the University of Aberdeen is trying a similar scheme, it seems that puppies are spreading.

Now this is cute.

I feel in the vein of this story, it is The Tab’s duty to provide you, our loyal readers, with some exam time inspiration of our own:

Rocky!

See how easy that was? Just put that on repeat and you’ll power through revision. Feeling a little blue about exams? Yeah, I know that feeling. I usually order in a pizza, kick my feet up, play a game of FIFA, and have a couple of hours chilling. Or I go for a drink with a friend. Or read a book. Or go to the gym. Or have a nap (yes, I do like a nice afternoon nap. I also have slippers. I live life on the edge…)

Bliss!

These are proven, endorphin-releasing, pleasurable ways to get over those exam worries, to ease you back into work. They’re not very expensive (and reading is always free), and you have the choice of what you want to do.

Therapets will no doubt help a few students to feel slightly better during exams. What it will not be, however, is good value for money. I think that the scheme, already rolled out in care homes and hospitals, has more benefit there, where a little unquestioning adulation from the large brown orbs of a puppy would go a long way.

I swear these are getting cuter…

I want to see this money not spent on making a few feel marginally better. Not when there are so many other options available. I want to see this money spent improving the care for students who really are in desperate need of help.

Students who need help with racism, sexism, sexual and mental health, and other issues. Helping to find counselling when it is needed.

Some students have even expressed concern over the welfare of the puppies, but EUSA seem confident of their wellbeing, alleging that “dogs love getting attention”. Let’s hope Lennie from Of Mice and Men isn’t one of the attendees.

Now, where’s that alfalfa?

Believe it or not, this event will actually be ticketed. Clearly the uni is expecting hordes of attention-starved homesick students to flock to them at the mere mention of “puppies”. These stress problems are issues that need to be dealt with, I fully recognise, but I believe they can be dealt with in a more personal, cost-effective way. Recently, the Edinburgh Women’s Rape and Sexual Abuse Centre has had to seek extra sources of funding (including doing a bake sale) to keep its doors open.

Just for once, how about we spend money wisely, eh, Edinburgh?

Defcon: Cuteness!