A 12-inch Disappointment
Subway vs. Baguette Express: American Emma and English Bex swap sandwich cultures.
Bex PearsonBaguette Express
Hopping Aboard The Baguette Express
Sandwich: Foot long BLT with cheese & mayo
Preparation Time: 12 mins 40
Price: £2.70
Filling: Too much cheese, not enough bacon, only 1 and a half tomatoes
Appetising.
Server: Great gal. Let us take a photo with her
Clientele: Spotty school kids
Ambience: The fluorescent-green walls give me a head ache, but I spy a Scrabble board in the kitchen which wins me over
Special Touches: Serving Softmints on a dish. Not a conventional choice of confectionary, but if my Granny taught me anything – it’s to respect the Softmints. I buy some.
How Did We Feel After?: Sick and bloated
Too Much Grease For This American (As If…)
Subway
The Only Was Is(n’t) Subway
Sandwich: Foot long BLT with cheese & mayo
Preparation Time: 7 mins 29 (but there was at least a 7 minute queue)
Urgh.
Price: £5.20
Filling: Slices of plastic ‘cheddar’, soggy lettuce, adequate quantity of pig.
Server: He had 40 kids to serve, I wasn’t expecting chats. But he still managed to say ‘How ya doing’ (probs why the Americans love it in here)
Clientele: Spottier school kids and in greater numbers (plus four fat American women who clearly felt a sense of ‘belonging’ here)
Well This Is Nice.
Ambience: Feels like a motorway service station. Watching my sandwich travel through a pipeline of Neddy Workers makes it increasingly unappealing
Special Touches: The New York mural glistening with grease stains, giving this fine establishment a truly authentic American feel. I leave feeling IMMENSELY cultured
How Did We Feel After? Sick and bloated
Couldn’t Finish. Too Much Girth.
Conclusion:
It’s 2 hours later and we feel like tubs of lard. If you’re considering going to one of the two, we recommend neither. Go to a salad bar instead, you fat shits. And go for a run. In our honour. Because we can’t move right now.
Emma would like to add, that if you really must, ‘get a MeatBall Sub from Subway. They’re the bomb!’.
Her American enthusiasm making me feel sicker by the second.
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