Sex Between The Shelves

As a student, the most important thing is to organise your priorities, and make sure your focus is in the right place. But in the age of 50 shades, and with the rising popularity of Edinburgh University Spotted, it seems that sex can now happen anywhere and everywhere, which means less chirpsing at The Hive, and more time chatting in the library. Is this new pandemic just pre-exam procrastination, or is the library the new hotspot for single students on the prowl?

Between the sheets or between the shelves?

Let’s face it, we only go to the library to make ourselves feel like we’re working, when in reality we’re just staring out the window, and waiting for the great moment when we see someone we know, which provides at least another 15 minutes of procrastination between asking what lectures they’ve had and if they’re going out tonight. What we’ve been completely missing though, is whilst we’ve been making idle chit chat with people who we’re never going to sleep with, we could’ve been laying ground work with people who we maybe, just might.

Inside sources at The Tab interviewed one student, who for the sake of this article we’ll call Bob*, who for us has become a tad of an urban legend. The fresher seized his opportunity on the 2nd floor, when he noticed the eye contact between him and a “hot girl sitting across the desk.” What started as idle procrastination, culminated in half an hour of flirting and a vital phone number, which helped him to “seal the deal” just 2 days later. We’re not saying it will always be this easy, nor should the library turn into The Big Cheese, but maybe as students we’ve overlooked the potential of having that many people looking for distraction in a building with that any quiet corners.

Unfortunately this isn’t Bob, but this guy’s also available…

So, keep it in mind folks. What you think may be someone staring into space, maybe be the start of your new University fling, or if worse comes to worse, a new relationship. Of course, any endeavours that you embark upon in the library, should be done with tact and caution, because to quote Mean Girls, the source of all important philosophy, “don’t have sex. You will get pregnant and die.”

*Bob remains unnamed to protect his identity. We’d never want to ruin his game. The Tab is completely against cock-blocking.