Which popular Durham café spot are you based on your zodiac sign?

Ever struggled to choose between Flat White and Riverview Kitchen? Allow astrology to make the decision for you.


It is a well known fact that Durham does nothing better than cafés, and they are definitely what we’re all missing the most during this latest wave of lockdown. From the quirky independents to your classic chain spots, there’s arguably a coffee spot in town for everyone. Choosing your favourite place, however, can be tricky, so we’ve decided to let astrology do the talking. Keep reading to find out which Durham staple coffee spot you are based on your star sign.

Aries – Chapters

Aries folk are far too indie for Flat White and like to support more underground, independent places (because let’s be honest Flat White is basically a chain). Once you, as a loyal Aries, discover Chapters, you won’t be getting your lunch and coffee anywhere else during the span of your degree.  Not only is the company you’ll find far more interesting than in any other café in Durham, the lunches actually manage to keep your bank account fairly healthy.

Taurus – Flat White

A Taurus loves to self-indulge, so where else better to do this than at Durham’s staple coffee spot. You wait in the never-ending outdoor queue just to get that extortionately priced oat milk chai latte (you tell all your friends it’s worth paying more for quality), and your faithful nature means you’ll never go anywhere else. Since Freshers’ Week you’ve probably lined the pockets of Flat White with about half your maintenance loan, or more realistically, daddy’s money.  

Gemini – Starbucks

In classic Gemini style, you pretend to all your friends that you love supporting the independents, but in reality, you’re no way near adventurous enough for that sort of thing; only a secret Starbucks takeaway will satisfy your coffee needs. On another level of basic above Flat White, you don’t like caffeine and will exclusively drink hot chocolate and nothing else.

Cancer – Greggs

Nothing soothes your raging temper, emotional intenseness and chaotic personality better than a cheap drink and pastry from Greggs. In your mind, you cannot go wrong. Your Castle friends may sneer but you love Greggs far too much to even care.

Leo – Treats

You’re often told you’re both passionate and impulsive, and so Treats is the perfect cafe for you. You vivaciously rave about the insane Treats cakes to anyone who will listen to you and you go for a cheap avo brunch there whenever you feel like it. The sweet potato fries are particular lifesavers after a big night at Klute, and the milkshakes with whipped cream are perfect for your twentieth birthday celebrations, even if you act like you’re actually turning twelve.

Virgo – Riverview Kitchen

With Virgos said to be the most reliable and practical of the zodiac signs, where better to go than Riverview Kitchen. With a guarantee of top-quality brunch and coffee, and cute views over the river, why would you even bother ever going anywhere else? Nothing in Riverview is going to disappoint your high standards or trigger your critical alter ego.

Libra – Revs

With a Libra’s obsession with the orderly and aesthetically pleasing, your number one spot to go to is Revs. All your friends tell you that it’s not actually a café, but you won’t admit that it’s true, and you’d die for their bottomless brunch. In reality, you just go for the aesthetic neon lights and over-the-top decor (it’s not tacky, it’s art!) so you feel like you’re always on a night out. Wild.

Scorpio – Vennels

Your secretive nature means you don’t tell anyone who doesn’t already frequent there about Vennels. Hidden up a little cobbled passage, you love to escape up there on a busy day over coffee and a slice of their to-die-for lemon drizzle cake. Vennels is perfect for you as you never see any students there and the company is usually much more mature. Supposedly one of the most intellectual zodiac signs, you give off main character vibes as you whip out a novel you pretend to read whilst sipping on your cappuccino.

Sagittarius – Leonard’s

Everything about Leonard’s screams jolly, so as an always optimistic Sagittarius it is the perfect coffee spot for you. From the cute fairy lights outside and rustic brick exterior, to the billionaire’s traybake slices, and even the fact its secluded down its own little street below Market Square, everything about it is quaint. Nothing to be disappointed about here.

 

Capricorn – Picnic Basket

A classic Capricorn is ambitious and resourceful, and going out for coffee is no exception. You know exactly where to find the best bargain in the whole of Durham. You rave to all your friends that not only does Picnic Basket do *literally* the cheapest coffee, it’s actually pretty damn good. You appreciate the aesthetics of Flat White, but recognise the prices for the daylight robbery they truly are.

 

Aquarius – Caffé Nero

Your need to be unique means you refuse to ever buy a drink from Starbucks, but this doesn’t rule out Nero for you. With a despising of anything that represents conventionality, you think Nero is ‘cool’ because a much more interesting range of people go there. You love getting the window seat and staring out at the crowds pensively. You usually get the iced latte because it’s just so much more exciting and edgy than a hot drink.

 

Pisces – Cafédral

Cafédral is the perfect match for your chill, laidback nature. From the homely decor and amazing cakes and coffees, not to mention arguably the friendliest staff and owners in Durham, in your eyes you cannot go wrong. To you, a perfect morning looks like getting your favourite sofa seat in Cafédral, a coffee, and opening up your laptop to crack on with the 20 lectures you’re behind on thanks to all your café trips.