Every Ex you’ll meet in the Billy B
Ex on the (Billy) Beach
You know that moment, when you have a look around the library to see if there is anyone you recognise and all of a sudden you spot four people who have definitely seen you naked. Wow. It’s almost like you’ve been forced into your own personal episode of Ex on the Beach. So here is a run down, of every ‘ex’ you’ll run into in the Billy B.
*If you can’t see them, then they can’t see you…Right?*
The one you had that awful one-night stand with
So it was around 2 am on a rogue Thursday night, the last songs were playing and you hadn’t pulled. In a drunken haze, fuelled by the £1 jägerbombs, you stumble into the smoking area and find a target for the night.
You head back to your room, with your new ‘friend’ and away you go. Clothes are flying, limbs are flailing and you start to get into a rhythm. When Boom! Thirty seconds later, they’ve finished!
But you think to yourself, ‘at least you won’t have to see them again!?’. Sorry to burst your bubble, but welcome to a new bubble; Durham. You will see them EVERYDAY in Billy B.
Just as dedicated as you are to your degree, they are as dedicated to theirs’s, maybe that’s why there was that spark in the smoking area? Who knows? All you know is that every time you go to have your soya, double shot latte, there they will be.
The one you actually thought could have been something
So you’re halfway through your university career, and you suddenly realise, that you are incredibly single.
Where to start? Tinder? Formals? Seminars? Whatever your vice you seem to stumble upon someone that can actually keep a conversation. Not only that you actually have a lot in common with them, perhaps it’s because you do the same subject, or live in Surrey (like everyone else here). Whatever the connection, it’s been made, and you start on your journey of feeling you’ve found the one.
Dates occur, late-night sleepovers, the awkward first time and you start to feel something. It feels nice. Is this what good sex is like?
Then all of a sudden, like most Durham relationships, it comes to a halt. Normally in the form of a blanked message, or if you’re lucky, an awkward ‘it’s not you, it’s me’.
Yet, Billy B will always provide an arena to see this person over and over again. Whether it be in that weird seating area by the entrance, on the stairwell or in the café, chances are there’ll be a sighting.
The one you shagged in Freshers week
It was a hazy Love-shack Wednesday – when that still existed – and you were walking around scouting for a purple blazer when all of a sudden there is a tap on your shoulder and someone is eagerly looking down at you. They introduce themselves with the usual, ‘Oh I think we are in the same Geography lecture’, which is usually followed by, ‘I’ve noticed you around, blah de blah de blah’.
You find out that they are from a different college and decide branching out is necessary given the one week you’ve been at university. So you end up on the bailey, in a random building, staring up at a ceiling.
It was alright, classic missionary. You leave feeling both accomplished but slightly used. Part of you wants a Facebook add, but you’re not particularly fussed. Needless to say, the Facebook request never arrives, and your Geography lectures are now filled with dread. But whilst your Geography lecture, a room merely filled with 100 people, never leads to an unwarranted encounter, the E-den, is a completely different story.
The one you want to see but never do
This is the person who was a cracker in bed. They took you to places you didn’t think were possible. They were adventurous, not afraid to crack the whip, and were always up for a shag. Their chat wasn’t half bad and you didn’t mind spooning them in the morning, as long as it led to morning sex! Obviously!
Whilst you always see this person drunk on a night out, they have never seen you look your best, in the sober light of day. So you put on good clothes, make your hair look nice and your face presentable, but alas you are yet to see theirs. Like how they care about you, they don’t seem to care about their degree. Sadly, it seems you will never see them in Billy B.