Tragedy strikes as St Aidan’s bar closes

No more wine.

Yesterday, the students of St Aidan’s received the devastating news that their treasured, loved and intoxicated bar was to be temporarily removed from the grasps of their hands.

As of last night, long gone is the smell of beer stained carpets, sticky tables and the bar staff’s questionable music taste.

Students received an email from college staff which stated that “following an inspection by the Police and licensing officer, the college officers have made the very difficult decision to close the college bar.”

Look at the JOY this place brings. Don't be gone for long.

Look at the JOY this place brings. Don't be gone for long.

Alas, there is hope, for the college has promised that the bar will be re-opened, “when measures are in place that demonstrate that we are fulfilling our licensing objectives.”

Whilst the next few days will be nothing but a gruelling struggle for the college’s functioning alcoholics, please do remember that your favourite beverage can be purchased just across the road at Trevs. Although, we know nothing beats the tacky red leather and the sticky floors of the heart of St Aidan’s.

A few of Aidan's second year bar fans.  Never will they recover from this news.

A few of Aidan's second year bar fans. Never will they recover from this news.

Conspiracy theorists have suggested that the current situation may be a result of the inspection occurring on a fresher’s week evening, in which the bar was as full as a tin of sardines. However, we can only be sceptics.

We hope to see you soon Aidan’s Bar, save a bottle of rose for me.

Cheers.

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Durham University