10 Things I Hate About You: Durham edition
Because Durham really isn’t perfect
The classic film 10 Things I Hate About You really does apply to Durham doesn't it.. Except that we don't have a Heath Ledger here. But then again they don't have a Castle so we're even. Anyway, we thought it natural to create a list of 10 Things I Hate About You: Durham edition. Here we go!
1) The weather
It's 2 degrees inside, it's -5 degrees outside and your fingers no longer feel part of your hands. You leave the house in four layers ready to kick ass only to be melting literally 10 minutes later. WTF, Durham?
2) College rivalry
Because who actually cares whether you're from JoBo or Cuths? All that matters is that NONE OF US LIKE HATFIELD.
And Trevs are a bit weird.
3) Housing prices
Oh, you want £98 for a damp hovel? Oh, that doesn't even include bills? What's that, you're going to charge me £400 for a deposit and then claim that I owe £200 of that in "wear-and-tear"? Bloody brilliant.
4) Made in Durham
Why is Durham literally Surrey-on-Sea? Do southerners just group together and decide to vacate up north, only to complain when here? If the groups of St Trinian's were actual universities, Durham would be posh totty, no question. Stop complaining that your house doesn't have an aga and live like a proper northerner, Greggs and all.
5) The fucking hills
WHYYYYY. WHY? I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS. But at least I don't have to sign up for the gym.
6) College accommodation fees
My loan doesn't even cover the majority of the rent, never mind the fact I have to share a bathroom with three other people. What's up Duzza? Why you do this to us?
7) Team Durham
Welcome to Durham, where half the student population walk around in sports stash, just to show that they are indeed part of Team Durham. Oh wait, you're not? What a shame that you have to miss out on 6am training sessions and disgusting initiation rituals.
No reason needed. Europe's worst nightclub speaks for itself. Die Klute, die.
9) Pressure for that 1st
"Ah, I can't come out I've got to start the essay that is due in 5 months…"
"Ah, I'm so stressed because I'm only on a 70% average…"
"I'm so bummed, my essay only got 68%…"
Do it for yourself. You got a 2:2? Fucking great – you got a degree from Durham. You got a 3rd? Well done – you STILL got a degree from Durham. You got a 1st? Enjoy the rest of your life on £50k a year. You got a 2:1? Pfft, who didn't?!
10) But mostly?