All the people you see in the library who ruin your life more than exams

Can you stop being annoying


We’re still in the middle of exam season. Tensions are running high. Your future is determined by how well you do this month. So naturally you think spending all your time at the library is a great idea.

Or is it? Because as soon as you get there, you’ll realise the library is inhabited by the worst kinds of people in the world, and there is no escaping them. You won’t get work done, and you’ll leave with your blood boiling. Here’s are the most annoying people you’ll see at the library right now:

The Snapchatter

They’ll take up a whole desk just so they can spread their notes and laptop around to make it aesthetically pleasing for their Instagram and Snapchat. Do you not know that plug sockets are sparse and seats are rare!?

Stop hogging all the space for the likes, you waste of space.

Keen bean fresher

Honestly, if you did Medicine, or Maths or heck even Philosophy, I’d accept your stressed face. But darling you literally do Sociology or Harry Potter studies, can we not? Your brightly coloured notes sicken me. Your organisational skills disgust me. How dare you try to get your money’s worth? Do you not know all you need to do is pass?

The eternal wanderer

This guy/girl- I wouldn’t know because I’ve never actually seen them- leaves all their stuff on a desk and then…vanishes. Have they gone to pee or to a party? No clue.

All you know is that they have a bunch of highlighters and they study History, but their presence shall never be felt. One question remains though: WHY oh why can’t they take their stuff with them so other people can sit down?

The excessively loud typer

Ok dude, I have a serious bone to pick with you. I get it, you must be writing very important notes but do you have to destroy your keyboard and my ear drums in the process?

The way you treat your Macbook Air is honestly heart-breaking, do your parents shower you with so much wealth that you can afford a new one every other day? It sure seems like it because at the rate you’re smashing the keyboard up, that laptop has two days left of working. Max. Hope you lose your coursework- karma for breaking my eardrums.

The cringe couple holding hands as they revise

Couples that revise together stay together! Except you don’t revise. You touch each others faces and play-fight. You think you’re being sly and quiet, but no. Everyone can see and hear you. You’re being disgusting and inappropriate. I’m already on the brink of failing, you don’t need to remind me that I’m lonely as well. You’re gross, get a room.

The crunch monster eating inappropriate food

You intrigue me. I don’t understand how someone can sit there munching on rocks. Oh, it’s not a rock? Are you sure? It sure sounds like it.

Crisps, apples, carrots honestly dude what is up with you? Even when you eat marshmallows I am sure it’ll sound like a gory Game of Thrones murder. The only reason why we aren’t allowed to eat in the Billy B is because your stupid loud crunching single-handedly causes 1000 students to fall into the deep dark pits of insanity.

Gossip girls

Oh my lord. They come in packs with their little Yum coffees and then they giggle, they laugh, they cry, they scream. Honestly, Sue darling: I don’t care how rough you’re feeling. I don’t care how wild your night was. Please Sue, if your hangover is that bad just go home. Go to sleep Sue.

Stop gracing me with your presence and your graphic stories about what happened last night.

DJ obnoxious on the 1s and 2s

I get it, you have Spotify premium and your dad has made you several playlists. How sweet. But I don’t care. I have a 3000 word summative due in two hours, of which I have only done 400 words- now is not the time for Chainsmokers pls. And quit that head bobbing, everyone gets it- you’re having a good time. Bravo.

Hobo

Same seat, different day. This guy has no home. He lives, eats, breathes and poops in Billy B. Normally I’d perhaps try to find out why this guy has no friends and no home. If he wasn’t such an entitled piece of shit that is.

He spends so much time at the Billy B, that he’s under the impression that he is Billy himself.  Literally, get out- its not my fault that you did nothing during the first two terms and now you have to live here. But don’t give me the annoyed look if my phone buzzes too loudly, just because nobody is texting you. Fight me Mr Hobo.

That’s it. Screw the library. I’m done.