What you did over Easter according to your college

Besides not revising obvs

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Following the assumption that no one did any work what so ever over Easter, we have assembled a list of what the members of each college did during the holiday.

This list is 100% foolproof.

JoBo- you tried to cook

After two terms of self-catered life you attempted to host a dinner party. Nobody showed up besides your cousin, and you found out that you haven’t gained any culinary skills besides boiling water for pasta during your time at Durham.

Grey- you went on a trip with your mum

Given that Grey is THE definition of basic, we’re guessing you went to Greece for four days with your mother. Right?

Trev’s- your holiday sucked

Trev’s is horrible. You are a very unlucky person to have been placed there. Thus, we bet you had an awful time over Easter, just because you seem slightly doomed in life.

Castle- you went to your posh family home

Castle people are posh and nerdy, so if you’re one of them you probably went down South to your family mansion, drinking port and going hunting every day.

Hilde Bede- you meditated somewhere near Brighton

You and two of your friends planned a trip to somewhere close to Brighton- but not in Brighton. It was definitely somewhere no one has ever visited previously. You’re so indie all you need for a trip to be good is some peace, a tent, and some woollen garms.

Hatfield- you cuddled up with your dog

In case you were wondering, Oscar is a very good boy.






You were either reunited with your Maltese Terrier, or you got an awful sunburn somewhere very tropical.

St. John’s- you were being pious

You went on a pilgrimage and now you’re flaunting your #holierthanthou attitude.

St. Mary’s- you photographed stuff

You went for multiple day trips to scenic locations just to take a bunch of polaroids. So adorable. So useless.

St. Aidan’s- you were working out

You were on the stairmaster every single day trying to maintain that ‘Aidan’s bum’. Walking up that hill and the additional 84 steps up to Aidan’s every day gave you such a nice little behind that you can’t risk losing it. Understandable.

St. Chad’s- you did not have fun in Vienna

You were probably cathedral hopping somewhere in Central Europe. Even though you’ve told everyone it was amazing, you actually only went because your parents made you, and you hated every second of it.

Van Mildert- Netflix galore

You were surrounded by green grass and a pretty pond with ducks and everything all Easter. Yeah, you spent the holiday in college trying to catch up on work, but you ended up watching Netflix all day instead.

St. Cuth’s- you hung out in the hipster areas of London

You’re called St Cuthbert’s Society because you’re all very alternative people. Therefore, you must have gone to Shoreditch at least three times.

Stockton (both of them)- you cried

What else would you be doing.

Collingwood- you got wasted

You wasted the holidays trying to catch up with everyone you met in freshers’. With football teams from A to L and an incomprehensibly large college, that turned out to be very difficult. You ended up needing a break from the break, and now you’re failing your exams.

Ustinov- you went on a romantic trip to Paris with your significant other

You’re old, so of course you are either married or engaged. This Easter you went to Paris with your loved one to enjoy red wine and talk about grown-up stuff, and to get away from all the immature undergrads.

We hope your summer will be much more exciting.