The guy you’ll pull according to the club you’re at

The most important guide of 2017

When the sun goes down and the lights are dimmed, that’s when you meet the love of your life. And then you meet another one the next night. And so it continues, no need to get into the nitty gritty numbers.

But every new love of your life is different,  each one is a whole other person, nay, a whole other stereotype.

So, to help you figure out your life we have compiled a list of which guy you’ll pull according to the club you are at.

Klute- the guy from the social

You don’t care- you have your Tesco Spanish Rosé-tinted glasses on. Tomorrow you will find photos of yourself exchanging saliva with a boy dressed as a slutty cowgirl on at least three of your group chats.

Lloyds- the guy from home

“What? You’re at Durham?? I had no idea!” you say, only to realise in your drunken state that you’ve always been a little attracted to that guy you talked to twice on a night out at home. You get with him, and the consequences are dire, because you will inevitably see him on the train every time you head home.

Missoulathe hot one you throw yourself at

It’s not that all hot guys go to Missoula. It’s just that Missoula is so huge that statistically you’re bound to find someone who looks and seems decent. If you can’t find anyone in Missoula, there really is no hope left for you. Sorry.

Jimmy’s- the guy who intended to stay home

The guy who had no plans of going out, but inadvertently ended up here. You can bond over your mutual regret of not having worn wellies once the toilets overflow.

Loveshack– that rugby dude

The rugby lad. He will impress you with his manners when he drapes his Purple Blazer™ over your shoulders. You might remain obsessed with him for a bit, but eventually you’ll realise that you shagged a guy who spends all his time chasing an oddly shaped projectile. Not cool.

Studio- the edgy one. 

He thinks he’s the most indie guy in all of the North East because he is wearing adidas stripes.

Loft- the guy who thinks he’s in Studio

He is not very interesting, and you are not very interested. But why would that stop anyone.

Wiff Waff- the instant regret

You’ll always run into past conquests or acquaintances in Wiff Waff. There’s the guy you got with in Freshers’ Week, and there’s the guy you do a module with. Who to choose? Either one. Both.

Don’t worry, they’ll regret the smooch as much as you do. You’ll agree to ignore it forever.