Which Sex and the City character is your college?
You all want to be Carrie
It’s no secret that Durham is full of intrigues and secret sexual encounters. Having a cathedral also means we’re a city and therefore, pretty much New York. So of course, we determined which Sex and the City character all our colleges are.
St Mary’s- Carrie Bradshaw
Situated between the Bailey and the Hill colleges, you’re like a social bridge between the two worlds. You also have a unique oppurtunity to flirt with absolutely everyone. Granted, your exterior is absolutely impeccable, but on the inside you are just as messy and neurotic as any other loser. However, you will always have someone pining for you and you are inevitably the star of the show.
Castle – Mr. Big
You think you’re the king of everything just because you’re old and rich. But in reality you are arrogant, spiritually empty, and lets face it; not that hot. Still, you’re the one who will end up in bed with a model and earn lots of money without working for it. You look pretty sexy smoking your cigar, and you ultimately get the girls, though no one understands why.
Hatfield – Miranda Hobbes
People either love you or hate you. Most people hate you. You’re annoyingly uptight, pessimistic, and you look more scary than fit. You try to be really edgy but actually you’re not fooling anyone. Inevitably you will end up with a bartender and a ginger baby. Go purchase some condoms mate.
Hild Bede – Charlotte York
Despite all of your pastel coloured outfits and your aim to be the classiest person around, you are a lot more slutty than you look. Charlotte converts to get married so she is kind of a pushover, just like you.
Ustinov – Samantha Jones
You are older, more experienced, and probably the best shag anyone will ever get. On the negative side, your pubes turn grey early. Everyone has a brief crush on you at some point, but quickly realize there is no potential for a quality partner there. Desperately you turn to botox to stay in with the cool gang, but sorry to tell you it just doesn’t work.
Chad’s – Jack Berger
You have lots of potential, you’re even quite attractive in a conventional sort of way. But ultimately you are too sensitive to get anywhere near Castle’s success. You may try to update your fashion sense (stop being obsessed with scrunchies) and get better grades, but your girlfriend will always be better than you.
St John’s – Harry Goldenblatt
Sweet, loyal, but extremely sweaty. Apparently you’re fantastic in bed, but no one would ever guess so. You should stop being such a conservative dick, no one likes a guy who won’t marry a woman with different religious beliefs.
Cuth’s – Stanford Blatch
Cute but pretty desperate. You are the most likely one to go online and meet BigTool4U because you can’t get laid in real life. Get a grip. Wenched in-between St. Mary’s and the Bailey, you may never feel at home anywhere. But cheer up, everyone secretly wants a gay best friend, you’re not such a social outcast as you think.
Grey – Trey MacDougal
Your physique is just not impressing. Due to your penile problems you can’t actually function properly. You have a brief romance with Hild Bede, but you get chucked. By Hild Bede! Come on.
Collingwood – Smith Jerrod
Really fit, like absolutely gorgeous. But that’s sort of it. You don’t have a lot between your ears, and you have to advertise yourself through vodka. Try to get a personality?
Stockton campus – Miranda’s mother
No one really hears anything about them before their funeral. Maybe you’re quite nice and sensible, but who knows.
Van Mildert – Natasha
Your eyes might sparkle like a lake in the sun, but you can’t spell. No one is really rooting for you, you will end up alone with a chipped tooth anyway. You are quite pretty but you can give up winning Castle’s heart, it won’t work.
JoBo – Magda
Yes you know how to cook food because you’re self catered. But other than that the only thing you are capable of is doing favours for Hatfield.
Trevs – Bitsy van Muffling
You look like you’re a bit passed your prime, no one quite fancies your exterior anymore. You’re not a timeless beauty like Castle, nor a fresh new-build like Collingwood, you’re just outdated. But if you’re lucky, you might still get married to a sweet guy (although he will probably have a different sexual orientation).