Fittest Fresher 2016: The Boys

They’ll just make you feel ugly


We’ve had the girls, now it’s time for the batch of fittest fresher guys in Durham this year.

Get voting.

Henry Meech, Mary’s, Geography, Essex

BlueShirt

Relationship status?

College-married.

Best feature?

My eyebrows.

Worst feature?

How long do I get to think about this?

Chat up line?

If you were a fruit you’d be a cute-cumber.

Favourite sex position?

Why? Is that an offer?

What’s your guilty pleasure?

Arts and crafts.

What would your ex say about you?

No comment.

What do you look for in a partner?

A touch of madness.

Matteo Bertacca, Hatfield and PPE, Milan
GreyHoodie

Relationship status?

Single.

Best feature?

My eyes.

Worst feature?

My atrocious chat.

Chat up line?

I don’t use chat up lines, I just use my charm.

Favourite sex position?

I’ll go with the wheelbarrow.

Guilty pleasure?

An episode of Friends every night.

What would your ex say about you?

She’d say that I have to visit her in the U.S.

What do you look for in a partner?

A reliable person.

Dylan Johnson, Collingwood, Combined honours, Ethiopia.

PinkShirt

Relationship status?

Awaiting Emma Watson.

Best feature?

My love spots (freckles).

Worst feature?

My low self-esteem.

Chat up line?

Guess what I’m wearing? The smile you gave me.

Favourite sex position?

Come back to Collingwood and I’ll show you.

Guilty pleasure?

Katy Perry’s ‘Teenage Dream’. Nobody else inspires me like Katy.

What would your ex say about you?

She’d say ‘thank God Durham’s so far away.’

What do you look for in a partner?

A tender heart.

Elliot Manley, Hatfield, History and Education, London
BlueCoat

Relationship status?

Taken.

Best feature?

You tell me.

Worst feature?

I’m not very good at counting.

Chat up line? 

Are you tired? Because you’ve been running round my mind all day.

Favourite sex position?

Surely it depends on the mood.

Guilty pleasure?

Capital radio.

What would your ex say about you?

Non-existent.

What do you look for in a partner?

Someone who can catch and kick.

Seb Heley, JoBo, Economics, Birmingham 

GreyShirt

Relationship status?

Taken.

Best feature?

Lack of Birmingham accent.

Worst feature?

Too many to choose from.

Chat up line? 

Did you grow up on a farm? Because you’re doing a good job of raising my cock.

Favourite sex position?

The wheelbarrow.

Guilty pleasure?

Snapchatting the Klute bouncer.

What would your ex say about you?

He values darts more than me.

What do you look for in a partner?

A pulse.

Ollie Potts, Hatfield, Sussex

WhiteShirt

Relationship status?

Single.

Best feature?

My dimples.

Worst feature?

I’ve got a bald patch on my head from a football social.

Chat up line? 

You’re a nine out of ten and I’m the one you need.

Favourite sex position?

Reverse Cowgirl.

Guilty pleasure?

I binge watch The Office.

What would your ex say about you?

Nice guy, nice guy.

What do you look for in a partner?

Good chat.

The results of Fittest Fresher boys and girls will be announced this week.