Is Trevs the new Hatfield?

Hating on Hatfield is so last season


No-one really knows why everyone hates Hatfielders, except for finding their chants and songs annoying and irrelevant. But something is happening on the hill, no-one likes Trevs, not even a little bit.

Collingwood is ugly, but it’s got character. Van Mildert has a Shrek-like swamp that some find endearing. Grey is just as it’s name suggests and JoBo is just slightly irrelevant. But Trevs has absolutely no redeeming qualities.

The various shapes of the buildings create a disorienting sense of being trapped in a dingy, honeycomb maze. It is the kind of building that, secretly, we would all sign a petition to bulldoze if there was a petition floating around. If Miley Cyrus came to Durham, the first thing I would ask is, “have you still got your wrecking ball lying around babes?”

You mean you don't want to live here?

You mean you don’t want to live here?

So it’s too late to change the architecture now, but there are some things could be sorted. Walking into the college bar gives you the same feeling as walking into a clubhouse bar at the local golf club. Shockingly, the room is angular and therefore unnerving, like the rest of Trevs.

But the sheer emptiness of the bar – it might be different on bop night – gives the expectation that at any moment you’ll see middle aged men walking around in tartan golf trousers. Maybe they should invest in a golf cart to drive people back to their colleges after bar crawls.

That’s another thing – Trevs have the worst college drinks. Why bother having two, equally repulsive beverages when you could just have one like all the other colleges? It’s an insult to those brave enough to take on full college bar crawls. You’re bound to go outside and vom straight afterwards, only warding off more people from daring to venture inside. At least the staff are always pleased to see people.

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This is as sexy as their fashion show get

There seems to be some mystery about what Trevs’ college identity actually is, rendering it somewhat irrelevant, sadly. Some colleges like ducks, others are sporty and some are filled with rahs, but Trevs just exists, sandwiched between other 1960s eyesores, but not really having the identity to redeem itself from it’s terrible architecture.

It’s so cliché to hate Hatfield and nobody really has a reason to (except their bar is also quite poor, resembling a Wetherspoons that you would happen upon in an airport), but Trevs is boring, ugly and lacking in personality. It’s just not cute.

The Tab Durham

last seen today at 06:49

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