What your Durham haircut says about you

We’re judging your lid


A good haircut could make the difference between achieving BNOC status or being confined to the bucket hat life for months. While for most that monthly chore is a bit less dramatic, who you choose to control your lovely locks may give away more than you think.

Bronx

You’re the classic flustered fresher. You were on way home from Tesco, having smashed your weekly budget on Jäger. You were then hypnotised by flashy signs promising the prospect of paying just £6.95 to have the best haircut in Durham. Probably.

Seduced by a classic marketing ploy, you felt pretty thrifty in that moment – edgy, cool even. What the barber didn’t tell you was that a “classic cut” meant “we will buzz all your hair off no matter what you ask us for and send you out into Market Square to join the army of lad clones we’ve created”. You’ll recommend to mates only if you want to start a boy band together.

Savin’ those pennies

Trampas

Get you. You must be a truly top gent to venture up the Bailey (or down the Bailey, because let’s face it, you probably go to Hatfield or Castle), for a mere £16.50. Your name’s probably one of Harry, Hugo or Hugh, but you’re definitely only ever known by your surname.

Nowhere else will offer you a complimentary neck trim and shave complete with hot towels, infused with “masculine aromatic scents”. Feeling fresh and manly, no one needs to know you weren’t in the pub like you said.

There’s no shame in splashing cash from the rents on a Rolls Royce or a Bentley (and by that we mean their special offers – three treatments including massages, wet shaves and haircuts for fifty quid). Why not? You’re worth it.

Nothing wrong with a bit of male grooming

Don’t mind if I do

Rusty’s

Guys with cuts from there know how to have a good time. You’re probably a no fuss, up for a laugh kind of man, from somewhere like Cuths or Mary’s.

With beverages on the house, and a bit of Xbox and FIFA, going here basically just makes you a stand up guy. You’re also pretty chummy with Rusty himself, who, to use to words of a Durham YikYakker, is “an actual legend”. Either that or you went to a barbershop acoustic session there once and just want to be that cool. Rusty’s is Bronx for people in the know.

Loving that chilled Rusty’s life

Chaps

 You’ve got a nice head of hair, but let’s face it, you’re probably a bit boring. Going to Chaps means you’re nice enough, and sure you might have one of the cheapest and best haircuts in Durham, but where is the danger?

A Chaps man might be a sensible postgrad, or that guy Brian (or was it Ryan?) from your corridor who you’ve never seen. When you google Chaps, it comes up with directions to Rusty’s. Enough said really.

Nothing wrong with a cheeky Chaps

When it comes to the girls amongst us, here’s the bottom line – most girls don’t get haircuts at uni if they can avoid it. The bond between a girl and her hairdresser is for life, so if you haven’t planned that life changing trim around uni terms, it’s already a given that you’re a pretty unprepared soul.

Came for the blow dry, stayed for Beyonce

Toni and Guy

If you’ve got a Toni and Guy trim, you’re either minted or scared of the unknown. You’re basically Tallulah from Hild Bede who does Geography, with hairdresser small talk is about your year abroad in Reykjavik, or your mum booked for you at only place she recognised right after she posted you a desk lamp and some fruitcake.

Cue you feeling like a fish out of water in the chrome spinning chair, wearing last nights hoodie and awkwardly juggling a cup of tea and a Heat magazine, feeling five years old again.

Says it all really

Ascend

If this is you, you’ve probably done your research. The owner of an Ascend Beauty cut has it all sorted; you’ve researched prices, scoured the streets, even checked YikYak for confirmation. You’re canny, resourceful- you’ve got this uni thing pegged.

A good cut surrounded by leather upholstery in the centre of town – if Ascend was a college, it’d be one you just couldn’t hate. Think Grey or Chad’s- pretty harmless, just not too exciting.

Celebratory hair whip for a research task well done

Remember: a haircut is for an hour, a hairstyle for months and a reputation for life.