Can we agree Lumiere is a little bit rubbish?

‘Let there be light’ and behold it was crap


Recently overtaking the Sun as the most light we get in the North East, Lumiere apparently redeems the last five weeks of cold, non-LED lit, uni.

We all like a bit of light, in fact it is one of God’s top creations. Maybe even ahead of fuck-all-to-do Sundays. But is this art? And is it any good? Five days biennially to celebrate light in Durham seems unintentionally offensive: we get it the North isn’t bright and sunny. Wouldn’t it just be cheaper to have a dark festival where we all just go about our business in the dark and don’t have to have “Gold Passes” just to get to lecturers? All it brough was a new Snapchat king in Durham, and it’s a weird sperm flying wale thing.

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Now the town seems to be emerging from the mosh pit that it has been for the past few days. And yes Durham Cathedral looked pretty, but the close of Lumiere also means the end of Checkpoint Charlie on Elvet. Weren’t you somewhat shocked they didn’t demand papers before taking you away as an “enemy of the proletariat”?

Before the arrival of Thomas Edison do you think people were able to appreciate the beauty of the Cathedral? Because, quite frankly the building now just looks like utter shite without a projected constellation on it. Honestly what’s the point now lights don’t guide you towards the House of God?
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The crazed mob of youths and pensioners who attempted to view a fake whale in the river, were really just an annoyance on my way to Klute (I get there early). Maybe in two years time I’ll attempt to drop something before going into town because the only way you can appreciate a drug-fuelled creation, surely, is to be a drug-fuelled arts student?

But really this event brings local and student together: the crowds that you begin to hate are treated with the same antagonism as locals hate us. Surely that alliance of loathing counts for something?

The Tab Durham

last seen today at 12:10

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