What Durham bouncers really think about you

The locals try to fight them with their shoes


They put up with us every time we go out and rarely kick up a stink when we tell them how much we love them. They say the key to becoming their favourite is buying them drinks, but how much do they really hate us?

Davey, 23, from Leicester

Davey originally planned to be a graphic designer, but then became a bouncer when his friends kept suggesting it. He’s only been doing it for four months.

He works at Fabio’s most nights

What can you lift?

I deadlift 230kg.

What’s the most annoying thing students do?

When they don’t bring their ID.

Any favourites/shout outs?

Flo Moore.

What’s your dream job?

I did want to be a graphic designer when I went to uni but then I dropped out.

Why did you become a bouncer

My mates just kept telling me to do it.

What do you do during the day?

Look after my son, go to the gym, see my girlfriend when she’s not working.

What’s your sleeping pattern like?

Messed up.

Anthony, 28, from Durham

Anthony’s the boss on the door of Klute. He claims he takes care of the others (James and Tony).

Anthony and Jay from Geordie Shore

What can you lift?

I don’t lift, there’s just arm muscle there.

Do you go out in Durham?

No I hate Durham… I’d rather stick pins in my eyes than go to Loveshack on a Wednesday.

What’s the worst thing you’ve had to deal with as a bouncer?

Getting assaulted by women with their shoes (locals only).

What’s the most annoying thing that students do?

Being sick in a cup and then drinking it.

Any favourite students?

It’s got to be Elliot and his crew (Elliot Gordon, David Zimmerer, Jonny Gilmour, Nick Godfrey, Lucy Harding and Kate Walklate), and Indy (Inderpal Panesar). They put drinks behind the bar for us all the time.

Do you ever feel mistreated by students?

Yes, especially the ones that think they know the law about what we can and can’t do. It’s pretty much a big pain in the arse.

What is your dream job?

Pornstar… don’t think the wife will appreciate that one.

What do you do during the day?

Sleep and other types of security.

What’s your sleeping pattern like?

Shit! Bit nocturnal.

James, 30, from Portsmouth

James has a six month old son and hates snobby students.

James (middle) scaring the shit out of people on Halloween

What’s the worst thing you’ve had to deal with as a bouncer?

A night when a lad fell down the stairs in Wiff Waff and it looked like he had broken his neck. He was out cold for about an hour and a half.  It took about two hours for an ambulance to come because it was a Saturday night. Two weeks later I saw him in Wiff Waff with a broken nose and two black eyes. He doesn’t realise how lucky he was.

What’s the most annoying thing that students do?

Don’t listen to you. You tell them not to do something and they keep on doing it.

What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve seen someone do?

I was doing a final toilet check at the end of the night before we closed, and there was a guy facing the urinal slouched against the sink trying to slap his own bits.

Do you ever feel mistreated by students?

Every night of the week. We’re here to protect and serve and some of them try to lecture us on who their parents are and basically they think they’re little snobs. They try and put us down.

Why did you become a bouncer?

Just a change of career. I was a fork-lift driver before.

Tony, 34, from Durham

Tony became a mechanic when he left school, then did factory work, and has been a bouncer for 5 years.

Tony, James and Anthony (left to right)

How much can you bench press?

40kg.

What do you like/dislike about Durham?

I hate students.

Do you hate me?

Yes.

What’s the worst thing you’ve had to deal with as a bouncer?

Somebody covered in blood. There was a fight inside.

What’s the most annoying thing that students do?

Don’t leave when they’re asked to. You just get loads of abuse after.

What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve seen someone do?

Getting romantic in the corner, upstairs on the sofa. I told them to get out.

Do you have any favourite students?

Just what Ant said. Elliot and his crew.

What’s your dream job?

Being a bouncer. I worked in Chester-le-Street before. The nightlife is crazy there.