We road tested a Swegway around awkward London locations

It’s much better than walking

national

What has two wheels, flashing lights, and transforms you into the number one public nuisance? A swegway.

Yeah, that’s right. Swegway. Like a Segway…but with “Sweg”.

They seem to be popping up everywhere, with celebs from Chris Brown to Wiz Khalifa stepping on board, but they’re yet to become more than a novelty. After Swegway.net kindly provided us with a board, we tried gliding into the future, and pushed the limits of what is an acceptable place to take a Swegway.

Admittedly it took a little bit of getting used to, but after about twenty minutes we were sublimely navigating the streets of London.

It was a lot easier than riding a bike, and you basically just lean the way you want to go, leaving the – presumably complicated – technology to do all the work.

We started the social experiment at one of the more liberal places in London, South Bank’s skate park.

Ridin' high

Ridin’ high

Inspired by the graffiti, we swegged over to the Tate Modern to test out the art community’s reaction. Security were actually pretty chill about it all.

Banksy will get one soon.

Banksy will get one soon.

Although we were in the way.

"After you." "No, after you."

‘After you.’ ‘No, after you.’

By now we were feeling pretty swegtacular, so pushed the mean machine to the next level.

"Just me being a legend"

‘Just me being a legend’

With a new appreciation of life, we sailed over to St Paul’s to thank the big guy that made this whole thing possible.

Having a sweg time

Having a sweg time

With Christmas just around the corner we wanted to see what prospective shoppers thought about our new toy, so we slid across to London’s fanciest grotto, Liberty’s.

Christmas come early

Christmas come early

Exhausted from a long morning on two wheels, we were famished, so we decided to grab lunch on the go.

Eating Al-Sweggo

Eating Al-Sweggo

It was now peak time, so we had force our way through Oxford Street crowds…

They see me rollin...

They see me rollin…

…And rolled straight into Urban Outfitters.

Do my wheels look big in this?

Do my wheels look big in this?

We were so convinced of the Swegway’s ground breaking potential that we motored straight over to the BBC to share the exciting news, where we bumped into comedy legend Vic Reeves, who fancied a go.

“It’s pretty cool” said Reeves, who managed to fall off the board and into our arms, “but I’m not sure I ever want to get on one again.”

Outstanding suit.

Vic-tory

There are times, however, when it’s just not the answer.

We didn't dare try the stairs.

We didn’t dare try the stairs.

Although with a max speed of 10 mph, it did put up a fair fight against a tube.

Ours has cooler lights.

Ours has cooler lights.

Sadly, it wasn’t seen as a legitimate form of transport by the almighty Maccy Ds, as they refused to serve us in the drive through. Devastating.

"Do you want sweg with that?"

‘Do you want sweg with that?’

Tummies filled, we headed home.

The best thing about the Swegway is that you are suddenly head and shoulders about everyone else, not bouncing down the road like mere mortals, but gliding like gods amongst men.

You develop a whole new appreciation of good paving. The Swegway can deal with brick roads, or slightly bumpy terrain, but there no better feeling than a polished pavement.

The human race is doomed.

It beats walking hands down

Normally avoiding any unnecessary human interaction, frosty Londoners warmed to the Swegway, stopping to ask us what it is, how it works, or how much they cost (a more than reasonable £359.99).

We are without doubt that the Swegway is the future, because of the convenience, simplicity, and unquestionable style. You could even say it’s making Sweg-waves.

The board for this article was provided by Swegway.net.

The Tab Durham

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