If your main gripe in life is freshers in the library, you need to have a word with yourself

You’re in the depths of a gruelling revision session, your notes are closer to resembling hieroglyphics than words and equations are swimming in front of your eyes.

Then, what do you hear? The unmistakeable sound, as someone plops down in the chair next to you and moans about how stressed they are – yes, it’s a fresher.

It’s exam time. La bibliotheque is the place to be (unless you fail to get there before 8.30, in which case you might as well forget it).

Finalists are mere weeks away from kissing goodbye to the summative stress and sweaty exam halls forever, but first they have to endure something much worse, freshers in the library.

The alternative to attempting to find a seat

Please everyone, it’s time to stop hating on the freshers.

For one thing, they pay more than you. Fourth years and post-grads are still enjoying the (relatively) cheap fees compared to the extortionate £9000 a year first years are paying to endure your filthy looks and aggressive yaks.

Included in the 9K a year is the supposed free and uninhibited use of the libes without your judgement and loud sighs.

Alas, it’s not. Freshers all over are hiding their first year books and are constantly checking to see if anyone’s noticed their “leavers 2014” t-shirt for fear of being caught out and tweeted about.

They have as much right to use the library as you do so if they beat you to the last seat in the level 3 silent zone, then sorry but tough luck.

Fresher spotting…

Additionally, you’ve been there too. Living in halls is a nightmare when exam time rolls around.

There’s always the hysterical group of friends who never seem content unless their discussing how many hours of work they’ve done – winding everyone else up in the process.

There’s the weird banging noise from upstairs, despite many sleepless hours, you still don’t know what’s causing it – and frankly you’re worried to find out.

So it’s fairly hypocritical to be hating on the freshers when just a short while ago you were in exactly the same position.

And yes, the inevitable mantra of “first year doesn’t count” is soon spouted, but does it mean you didn’t work hard for your first year exams?

Probably for the few wild and reckless of you the answer is yes, but deep down, you were all nervous and probably slinked, self-consciously into the library in much the same way as this year’s freshers do.

Working hard or hardly working?

Every year, second and third years lecture freshers about attempting to use the library. Either the advice straight out is “don’t”, or the friendship you thought you had cultivated is gone within a matter of seconds once they spot you and conspicuously whisper “WHY are you here? You’re a FRESHER”.

This suitably ensures the rest of your time in the library is permeated with evil stares from everyone within a 10 foot radius.

Hey, we all laughed at the Year 7s with their huge backpacks back at school (conveniently forgetting we had been one ourselves), first year shaming is the uni equivalent. Incidentally this happened to a friend of mine, and she’s refused to go to the library ever since – at least until next year.

At the end of the day, there are many more people to hate than freshers.

Library couples are the epitome of this – despite being a firm believer in love conquering all, it can’t be said to apply to your degree if you remain huddled together whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears (and if the rumours are to be believed, much more in the level 4 toilets).

Stop pretending to be revising and stop distracting everyone else, if you can’t control yourselves sit at different tables, or better yet, different floors.

‘No thanks. I don’t want to be part of your sex festival’

Phones. Even on vibrate, guess what? They still make a noise. And yes, we know it’s probably the “house mate chat” demanding who ate the last of the cheddar or if someone can buy more toilet paper urgently!!! *poo emoji*, but the perpetual buzzing is far more disturbing than the fresher in the corner.

Particularly if you’re a music blaster, despite wearing head phones, the rest of the floor is stuck listening to your guilty pleasures- whether it be Craig David or Screamo, rest assured, we all don’t need to hear it.

Finally the people easily worse than freshers are the shoeless students that blend in amongst the bookcases as part of the scenery. The ones you cannot sit within 2 seats of, as their last shower most likely pre-dates the book on the Russian revolution they absently flick through. Not only do they seem to be a permanent library fixture, but grime appears to be a permanent fixture on them.

So, please, do freshers a favour and leave ‘em alone. Don’t hate them, pity them. Pretty soon all this exam stress will be in the past for you, but they still have to survive at least another two years in the cry-brary.