Love me Tinder?

Being forever the singleton of my friends I have, I admit, considered creating the odd dating website profile, but due to the connotations of 50-something spinster, I’ve held out hope that my next venture to Klute will produce ‘the one’.

But then along came Tinder, allowing me to objectify men from the comfort of my own bed by swiping my thumb. Minimal effort required. Perfect.

Come at me, boys (I’m on the left)

For those of you who’ve been living under a rock, a profile picture comes up on Tinder, and you swipe right if you like the look of them, swipe left if they’re the missing link.

It’s a no from me, Stig.

There is nothing like that moment when you swipe right and you find out THE LIKE IS MUTUAL. Alright, I’m a stereotype, what did you expect?

After a few of these near orgasm-inducing moments of excitement (it’s been a while), a friend of a friend asked me on my first ‘date’. SUCCESS. Alright, his chat was poor and I made my excuses, but it was a start.

I played it cool

I’ve been asked on two more dates since. The first one was agreed upon but, after doing a bit of market research with mutual friends, I decided that we were probably not best matched (I’m not into that kind of thing, sorry Mike).

Calling the second one a date is pushing it a bit. We’d chatted about what a joke Tinder was (pfft yeah joke, totally…) but up ’til now he’d ignored me outside of the Tinder-sphere (literal blank). It was only because of an enthusiastic message from drunk Serena, who apparently refuses to take hints, that the date happened at all. Given the dictatorial nature of my request, I was pretty surprised he actually turned up.

Eating out of the palm of my hand

Fast forward three and a half hours, which he dutifully sat through, we said goodbye at the end of the date and…he HUGGED me. In hindsight, I think I showed my enthusiasm a little too much. I’m not expecting a second date.

I’m on the left

So, do I think Tinder will find me my life partner? No. But the experience it offers is a fun way to improve my somewhat lacking ‘banter’ and boost my confidence so when ‘the one’ finally does come along, I will be prepared.