How to get with that hot girl in your seminar

Utilise Duo

Your hunting ground

Check all the groups to find one with a preferable ratio of students of the other sex. Facebook stalk everyone in the seminar, select the sexiest singleton and identify their interests early on.

Top Gun. Pulp Fiction. Anchorman. She’s a keeper.

If they have an interest in ‘Love Actually’ then you can throw in a quote when you first meet, if they have any political preference then be sure to mention your mutual perspectives. Remember – poor preparation leads to piss poor performance!

Look Good

Be sure to have your most impressive piece of stash available. They need to know that you play for DUAFC or are Vice President of Team Durham.  Make sure you shower, prepare hair and apply aftershave.

The Ice-breaker

Most seminars start with awkward silence outside the room. Seize the opportunity to impress your target with your confidence. Introduce yourself casually whilst throwing in a couple of their (aforementioned) Facebook interests to get a conversation running. The seminar may be on British Agriculture in the 15^th Century but all they can think about is your mutual love of Flamenco dancing.

The Seating

It is essential that you sit close. If your tutor breaks you into teams you can have a discussion whilst throwing in a couple of your best jokes. If next to each other you can ensure they smell that manly aftershave. Perhaps break the touch barrier with the standard ‘hey, can I borrow a pen’. Avoid creepiness at all costs.

The Intellectual

Be sure to participate but don’t seem too keen. Sit back, listen and occasionally make a point of such gravitas and understanding that the whole room woos at your intelligence…and your DURFC stash.

The Giver

You heard that other seminars were allowed biscuits so mention to your tutor that you bought some along and if you could share them around. This not only makes you the centre of attention but also highlights your soft side as a generous and kind individual. Ideally, it will provoke a flirtatious debate over the ambiguity of classing a jaffacake as a cake or a biscuit.

The Night

Job well done.

As the seminar ends they know you have mutual interests – you are intellectual, generous, witty, confident and represent Team Durham. They damn well better be interested. Ask them if they’re going out at all soon. If they say Loveshack Wednesday, mention how you have a DURFC, DUAFC, DU(applicable club) social there as well as providing a hysterical anecdote about the last one.

From then on the mission is yours. You have set the seeds for a drunken fling with a peer in your seminar. If that doesn’t work, then there’s always Klute.