The Great Debate: Lloyds or Shack?

Lloyds or Shack? Where do you stand?


In your three years at Durham you will engage in many debates with friends, strangers and those people from your course that you don’t really like or know but have got stranded with between lectures.

I am sad to say these will rarely be interesting. Perhaps once you will discuss something approaching existential and a couple of other times have a meaningful chat about music.

But in reality, the majority of your Durham debates will be clichéd, dichotomous arguments based around a prolific trade of stereotypes. Of course you will argue over the North/South divide; no one is exempt and if you’re not almost-illegally xenophobic to every other college but your own you’ll be cast out as an apathetic heretic.

This is all part of passive-agressive Durham tribal life. No matter how many articles deal with it, it will always exist.

Lloyds: Desperately trying to be ‘hip’

Despite this, there is one argument more important than all others. It is a choice, and apathy will not do. That debate is, on a Wednesday once the pre-lash is done and the college bars are closed – where do you go?

There are only two choices.

Lloyds, a Tardis-like Wetherspoons or Loveshack, one of the few nocturnal destinations that actually feels like a decent nightclub.

Here at The Tab we are keen to jump on any ancient wisdom when it suits our needs and when pondering this issue we were quick to declare St. Peters words: “So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.” (Revelation, 3:16). For all you state school kids, what that means is choose one, and stick to it.

I could tell you that Lloyds often has deals on Jaegerbombs and that its pitchers are phenomenal and ice-cold on the sweat-drenched dance floor. I could also recount that Loveshack is full of loose, short skirted lacrosse girls and is well worth the entry.

All of that is useless. Here, for once, The Tab encourages you to be a bigot. Don’t try and pretend they’ve each got their own merits and that visiting both is entirely plausible because they’re next door to each other. That is ridiculous talk and St. Peter would be greatly displeased.

Shack: Always rammed on a Wednesday

In this debate, the middle ground is akin to No-Man’s land. Nothing exists there and as soon as you step into you’re gunned down by those far more entrenched than you.

Here’s where I stand.

Lloyds is free and I’ve not often had a bad night there. There’s a great conglomeration of different colleges, I’m pretty certain to meet someone I’ve not managed to catch up with in a while and despite the horrendous state of the toilets, it was where I nailed my colours to the mast all last year.

But to be honest, my only sally into Loveshack last year was after half a litre of whiskey and I was on the floor. Literally.

Fast-forward to now, my coolness to Loveshack has decreased and I’ve had a couple of cracking nights there (admittedly, not on a Wednesday).

It’s far larger than anywhere else I can think of in Durham. Not only that but last time I visited Loveshack’s bathroom a lovely chap sprayed me with aftershave, offered me soap and dried my hands. I appreciate such details.

All in all, I’m not going to tell you which one is best because in keeping with Durham spirit you’ve all already chosen one and hate the other. I’m not going to change that and it’s pointless to try.

Because I’ll be told to ‘shut the f*** up’. And quite right too.