The Fresher’s A-Z: Part 1, A-K

It’s the start of the academic year and Freshers week is upon us once again. The Tab brings you its comprehensive A-Z list of Durham Freshers. What you need to know, what you need to have and what you need to avoid.

A | Alcohol

A fresher essential. Necessary to enable you to perv on your new college friends, as well as a convenient excuse for your inexcusably poor behaviour.

B | BNOCs

You may not have met them yet, but you’ve probably heard of them. ‘Yar I was in the fashion show actually…no Uni fashion show.’  ‘Yar I live with one of the guys who runs Monk so you can go in for free.’ You can spot them from afar and the new generation are amongst you.

It’s a noble challenge

C | Condoms

You may never have had a one night stand nor may you mean to. However the alcohol, Klute’s dancefloor and an abundance of willing fellow freshers may lead to a stumble home with a member of the opposite sex. If you can’t shield the rocket leave it in your pocket. But seriously, safety first.

He’s the man

D | Dance

Its best to have a few moves up your sleeve. There will be a time when your dancing awkwardly in a circle with a bunch of people you can only vaguely remember meeting. It is at this moment that someone will inevitably push you into the centre and expect you to perform.  Have something special and they’ll love you for it. Exemplary behaviour below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=0ZUgJaRzaXQ

E –  Essays

To be put off for as long as possible. With all the partying, events, socializing and bitching – you won’t have any time. Leave it and enjoy the start of your UNAY experience. Trust me, you’ll have enough time in the Bill Bryson over the next three or so years.

F | Fighting cocks

To put it crudely ‘the local pub.’ Best to avoid this one except in exceptional circumstances. Whilst locals and students live in harmony most of the time, this is local turf and your presence will not be appreciated. Having said that, it might be alright, I don’t know of anyone who has ever actually been inside.

What you lookin’ at?

G | Gap yah’

You may taken a Gap Year and you may have done some amazing things. However, beware that there is a limit to how much people really care. If you’re still raving about the Himilayaaar’s and Parah’ after the first two weeks, then stop. Acceptable as a means of making friends, unacceptable as a means of keeping them.

Or don’t…

 H | Hills

There are many. The biggest is home to colleges such as Collingwood, Van-MIldert and Josephine Butler. If you set out on a Hill bar crawl make sure you have cash as it doesn’t host a cash machine, a Tesco, any shops…well, anything really.

I | Itchy Feet

A rare but treasured happening. You’ll be lucky to get a ticket but you’d be stupid not to try.

They’ll be there, won’t you?

J | Jimmy Allens

A favorite bar to hit before heading out to Klute, Studio or Loveshack. Serves the famous Johnny Woodgate and has a great back door.

 K| Klute

Was once the second worst club in Europe, till the victorious venue burnt down, so it now has the dubious honour of taking the throne. Love it or hate it, Klute is famous for it’s barely legal ‘quaddies’, it’s tiny dance floor and the pacifist nature of its bouncers.

Stay tuned for Part II next week…