Palatinalps 2013

It was bigger than ever, but was it better? The Tabs reviews one of Durham’s biggest social and sporting weeks of the year.

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Earlier this month, enticed by stirring publicity, restless reps and stories of past glories on the slopes, over 1500 of you headed to Palatinalps with high hopes for another epic week. The Tab reports on whether the highs lived up to the hype as the all-skiing, all-dancing vintage neon clad throngs of Durham descended upon the Alps.

 

A view of Palatinalp’s 2013 resort.

The resort of Alpe d’Huez was larger than last year’s choice leaving those that got lucky some awkward strolls back to bed and, come the morning, even longer walks of shame. For the less lucky the larger resort provided plenty of space on the slopes and once night fell, an abundance of nightlife. As Palatinalps enters its fourth year and revels in the title of the world’s largest single university snow-sports event, opinions on the organisation of the trip are still divided with some complaining of long transport delays and disinterested reps whilst others lauded organisers for regular text ‘friendly and bubbly’ reps. However free sunglasses, some chic stash and a bloody good time all round seemed to silence even the most determined of moaners.

THE HIGHS AND THE LOWS

The Opening Night

HIGHS: High on life having arrived in the resort, the opening night was simply described by one partygoer as ‘outrageously good’. The token system led to smooth bar service and The Urban Knights put in an outstanding set that justified the hype.

Urban Knights cranking up the hype on the opening night.

LOWS: Unfortunately, the venue faced the age old conundrum of simultaneously being too small and too big. The dance floor was extremely cramped and later became an overzealous mosh pit but the enormous grandstand seating made the event seem empty and at times lacking in atmosphere.

Après Ski

HIGHS: Le Taburle was packed every afternoon and the chance to pulse to the beat of popular DJ’s, get smashed amidst the mountains and relax after having torn up the slopes was the highlight of the trip for many.

LOWS: However, no amount of enthusiasm could overcome the drinks queues, which proved more of an endurance test than the resort’s famous 16km black runs.

Panaromic beauty at the Apres Ski

Ski Competitions

Tom Heath cuts a corner.

HIGHS: The regular text updates and an open approach meant the competitions were inclusive and well attended. Yet, despite their inclusivity the competitions were still highly competitive. Experienced Seasonaire, George Sturley, praised a perfectly constructed big air and was particularly impressed by a skier snowboarder who seemed to compete in every competition.

 LOWS: Very few girls showed their pace and guts, although those that did, did so with panache.

Accommodation

HIGHS: You didn’t spend much time there.

LOWS: Although it depended on your college, accommodation was pretty lowly all round. If you were inclined to be generous – it was functional. Even Victoria, a Hild Bede student who “paid £50 extra for deluxe accommodation and got exactly what I got last year with basic accommodation – a camp bed in the kitchen.”

The Nightlife

She loved it!

HIGHS: The nightclub epicentre of Alpe d’Huez was Igloo. Heady from the snow-capped scenery and adrenalin the respectable boys and girls of Durham flocked here in their hundreds. Endless rivers of vodka ran in Cantlay’s Corner, where an unidentified second year held court. Whilst on the dance floor, lost in the magnetism of the mountains, savage shapes were cut and moral compasses tossed aside. A popular alternative was L’Etalon Bar (The Rum Bar) featuring a particular novelty behind the bar, Captain Jack Sparrow. However on one night it was rather embarrassingly drunk dry of rum.

LOWS: A special few murmured complaints of cold temperatures and ice at night – presumably you were lost. The Tab suggests going on the Surf Trip. Some bad nights were had by the small gang of adventurers who tried walking down the piste. But the Tab’s inaugural Palatinalps Darwin Award goes to the imbecile who drunkenly slid down the mountain to a lower resort entirely on his backside and ended up sleeping in a bus shelter. Unfortunately he survived. On a (slightly more) serious note, a lot of phones disappeared in Igloo. Not helped by the terrifyingly unsympathetic bouncer – a 7ft tall relative of the abominable snowman who lacked the power of speech.

The Closing Night

HIGHS: Descriptions of Rudimental’s set were very complimentary but completely unprintable, so let’s just say they were worth every penny. Lack of any coherent recollection of the last night makes it hard to report on – in itself praise enough.

She’s got the right idea.

LOWS: The fancy dress effort was abominably poor – Heroes for Hill, Villains for Bailey – and fell flat. The Tab applauds those that made the effort and, on a general note, would like to remind Durham that when Made-in-Chelsea ponce Mark Francis said fancy dress was only OK in Versailles – he was wrong, because he’s a wanker. And fancy dress is awesome. They also refused to let anyone back in after 1pm, despite claiming to close at 2pm, which was both annoying and confusing.

The Competition Results

 Giant Slalom

50 competitors took part in perfect conditions; particularly impressive displays came from Jack Breton who dominated the Men’s finishing 2 seconds quicker than the nearest competitor, Palatinalps President Matt Williamson. Among the Ladies, Jojo Carew beat some fierce competition and skilled skiers to come in a well-deserved first. The board competitions were won by Tom Heath and Zoshia Di Lieto.

Dual Slalom

The Dual Slalom made for some tense inter-collegiate racing.

30 teams came forward to vie for Collegiate glory the early stages passed without note and the competition dragged on a little as people drifted and it got pretty cold. Nonetheless the knock-out stages were gripping and in the end Hatfield edged out Collingwood in the final with Grey coming third.

Big Air

Everyone who went off this daunting 10 metre jump possessed some serious guts. There were some incredible tricks pulled off but the occasional crunching fall and hysterical bail also provided great entertainment. Special mentions go out to Andy Cumine who won the men’s with a perfect 720 grab and the insane Arthur Crawshay who performed a ballsy double front flip but somehow missed out on the podium.

Those with the guts took on the Big Jump.

Skier/Boarder Cross

A complete white out hit this new competition but the finals still proved an exciting event and in the Boarder Cross three of the four competitors collided at the first turn to leave Charlie Bullock with an easy win. There was more drama in the Skier Cross, the favourite Jack Breton beaten to the first gate by a minute margin by eventual winner Tom Atkinson.