Goodbye and Good F*ck

One final month in Durham, one final article for Durham One – it seems apt to share with you a final checklist to tick off before the year’s out. 

Along with all the old clichés of having a threesome or getting experimental at uni, I recommend giving the following a go.

Finalists, we don’t have much time, so I suggest you start tonight. In Klute.

1) Partake in a pull crawl. Like an extended bar crawl but the aim is to have pulled someone from every college by the end of June. The ambitious/arrogant amongst you can try to get a full house in one night, complete with white t-shirt checklist.

2) Pull the stereotype. Love them or hate them, you can’t leave Durham without getting with a rugby lad or backcombed RAH girl. A perennial presence on the streets, in the library and in Lloyds, they are something of a Durham icon so it just has to be done.

3) Go up to someone, hand them your number, look them straight in the eye and say “Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number – so call me maybe”. Await their call with anticipation.

4) Cover yourself in gold paint and declare to all in your path that you are the gold they’ve been seeking this Gold Rush.

5) Get it on in some of Durham’s hotspots. Prime locations to tick off include the Loveshack van and Klute dancefloor (if you haven’t done this one yet, hang your head in shame), but don't forget to make a stop at the Lovemaking Chair, the stone chair on the riverbank with a centuries-old tradition of being the place to get down and dirty.

6) Have a house competition to see who can do the furthest walk of shame, whether this involves getting with a Newcastle local or a Stockton student. Then see who can do the closest one, 

 7) Apart from all else, be shameless. Now and Fresher’s Week are the only times of the year we can get away with it. You can afford to be more direct/desperate/slutty without the same stigma, and if ever you want to throw caution to the wind and take an assertive role in your own sexual destiny, now is the time to do it.

So what have I taken from the last four years?

I’ve learnt many lessons, foremost amongst them enjoying every night, downing most drinks and never passing up an opportunity.

Be thankful for the nights you can’t remember with the people you’ll never forget.

Try it on with Library Guy/Girl before it’s too late. Don’t be afraid of rejection, no one gets everyone they want. Learn to laugh on bumping into previous conquests. Don’t take it all too seriously.

Now go forth and pull. Take on a YOLO attitude. Be at unay not uni. Both are important. Embrace the time you have left, and above all, remember that it’s better to regret the things you did rather than the things you didn’t do. We are young.