Durham One’s guide to the various inhabitants of Durham’s university library
I've gone all David Attenborough and my research has revealed some interesting species:
The Keen Fresher: Get some mates
The Overworked Overseas Student: You’ve been in the library since early November, so little will change come exam period, except the fact that you are now able to surreptitiously sleep in the library. You could take your exams tomorrow and get a mark in the high 80s, so if I were you then I’d relax in the “sun” and enjoy yourself… But you won’t, so just revel in the fact that your genetic capacity to absorb vast amounts of knowledge is the envy of the rest of the Caucasian student population.
The @DurhamUniLibrary #librarylovers: To be fair, you do spend a remarkable amount of time in the library, but so much of that time is wasted telling everyone how hard you’re revising on every social medium imaginable that one wonders how much, if any, work you actually get done. Great that you’re revising hard, but I couldn’t give a fuck what type of sandwich you’re planning on buying for lunch in YUM.
The Social Butterfly: You know who you are. You often frequent the 3rd floor and your extensive revision ‘breaks’ will take you all over the library in search of desirable company. I'm sure you think you’re being really subtle by going around pretending you’re looking for a pen to borrow, but when your quest for stationery involves conversations with anyone you can find in DURFC, it’s a bit of a giveaway that all you harbour for is an illicit tryst in the library loos. There will be plenty of time for your sort to pursue that in the smoking area of Lloyds after exams, so just settle down and do some work. Alone.
The Finalist: Give them a wide fucking berth. Some of the nicest guys I’ve met at Durham turned into pressure cookers during the summer term last year, while the girls seemed to go into a state of permanent menstruation for six weeks. Just let them do their thing and we’ll see them all on the other side… as long as they don't take an ill advised trip up the cathedral tower.
Do you see any of yourself in these vignettes? Comment below…