Absolutely Stereotypical
The ubiquitous chaps at Absolute Life go under the Durham One spotlight…
The next installment of Durham Stereotypes: Rate 1 if you think this is balderdash, 5 if you've met this person!
Most likely to spend their time: Wiping their arse with £50 notes
Most likely to be wearing: a smug grin
Most likely to be eating: out some impressionable fresher
Most likely to be drinking: free ‘champagne’
Most likely to be watching: The Sopranos
Most likely to be reading: ‘How to polish a turd’ by Simon Cowell
Most likely item to grab in a fire: Their Absolute Life card and some loose change (£200)
Most likely chat up line: *points at crotch*
Most likely to get away with: daylight robbery
Most likely hashtag: #WAL (We Are Legends)
Most likely relationship status: Open (in their eyes)
Most likely to be out on a: Silly question really…
Most likely place to be found on a night out: Counting money somewhere
Most likely quote: ‘I only queue for Subway’
Most likely song to have on their IPOD: The Godfather theme tune
Most likely to be studying: Alchemy
Most likely to refuse to: know that they’re born
Most likely to be kicked out of the club for:N/A
After 40 years in the spotlight, Durham nightclub Klute has shut down
Cory BroadbentIt is currently unclear whether the closure is only temporary or permanent
The Durham Tab needs you: Apply now to be a part of the 2024-2025 editorial team
Caitlin JamesApplications close on Saturday 26th April
Ben Green
Durham University to introduce specialist support team for freshers rejected from Oxbridge
A leaked email explained how eligible students can receive free counselling throughout Michaelmas term
Durham city centre parking space listed for sale on Rightmove for £25,000
Hannah FergusonThere are 133 years left of the St Helens House parking space lease which has not yet sold
Durham student housing plans withdrawn after MP issues warning over policy breaches
The scrapped developments would have seen three student housing blocks built on Clay Lane
HESA 2022/23 report exposes gender and racial pay gaps at Durham University
Eloise JonesThe highest salary band reportedly includes no black staff members
Durham almuna Gabby Logan plans to tell her kids about her affair during university
She asserts that ‘you’re allowed to make bad decisions’
It’s back and it’s only getting wilder… meet the girls competing in Fight Night this weekend!
Watch out: These girls are scarier than your summatives
‘Buying things from Billy B café’: Here’s what Durham Uni students are giving up for lent
Taliah Spencer JacobsWhether you’re quitting skipping lectures or quitting attending, let’s see if you can all commit for 40 days
The fresher’s ultimate guide to Durham’s Facebook culture from a second year student
Alice MartinIs this what Mark Zuckerberg had in mind? I think not
Petition created to save Leazes footbridge after Durham council plan to demolish it
The bridge has been called ‘iconic’
I went to DUCFS, the UK’s biggest student-led charity fashion show right here in Durham
From free drinks to fancy outfits, it does indeed live up to the hype
Durham’s annual inter-collegiate Cheer Competition: A review
Give your cheerleading friends a hug, they need it
Here come the boys: Meet the lads putting it all on the line at Durham Fight Night
Let’s hope they last longer than I did…
Durham Uni ramps up international presence as expenditure on agents increases
Derek WongThe uni aims to make Durham ‘better defined thematically and geographically’
70 per cent of Durham students don’t feel like they have a healthy work-life balance
Olivia ThomasSome students reported studying for 10 hours daily
Seven cocktails to remind you why your exes are in fact exes this Valentine’s Day
Take this as a celebration of your bad decisions…
These are the best places in Durham to hide from your ex this Valentine’s Day
Why do mountains always win at hide and seek? They always peak….
The couple’s yearly connundrum: What to do for Valentine’s Day (Durham edition)
Don’t worry folks, the Tab’s got you covered…
Lauren reveals the ‘spicy’ parts of her MAFS Australia final vows that were cut from show
Ellie RingJono should be thankful these weren’t aired
24 years after it first came out, what is the iconic cast of Gilmore Girls up to now?
Give me another reunion asap please
Here’s where else to watch the Outer Banks cast while you wait patiently for season four
Emily SmithFilling the major Pogue shaped hole in my life rn
Phoebe Kowhai
Everything Natalie and Collins have been up to since their disastrous time on MAFS Australia
Harrison BrocklehurstIf I had to hear about Collins discussing OnlyFans, you do too
Everything Richard Gadd has said about Jessica Gunning’s captivating Baby Reindeer performance
Francesca Eke‘It lived and died on Martha and we couldn’t have been luckier’
Okay, so what happens next in the Ellie and Jono cheating saga on MAFS Australia 2024?
Jono becomes public enemy number one
The 10 best songs on Taylor Swift’s The Tortured Poets Department, according to streams
Justice for So High School!!!
Jess reveals she and Callum ‘no longer speak’ after he did something ‘unforgiveable’ to her
‘I wouldn’t say he’s a friend’
Hi Barbie! Meet the student who has written her entire dissertation on the Barbie movie
Not her supervisor’s name being Ken!
Holidays and moving in together: Inside Tom and Molly’s adorable post Love Island life
They’re actually too wholesome
Baby Reindeer’s Jessica Gunning has spoken out about people trying to find the real Martha
‘I think it’s a real, real shame, because it shows that they haven’t watched the show properly’
‘Taylor Swift pub’ The Black Dog staff have spoken out about chaotic week mobbed by Swifties
‘We’ve got a Swift half pint on the menu, which people can get for free if they sing a Taylor lyric’
Kim Kardashian is ‘over’ Taylor Swift feud and ‘thinks Taylor should move on’ after new song
Taylor’s new album features a song called ‘thanK you aIMee’ which is believed to be a massive dig at Kim
From tattoos to moving in together: What are Tori and Jack up to after MAFS Australia 2024?
They’re in their own little bubble
More lies Jack from MAFS Australia has been telling his ex have surfaced and it’s chaos
‘He’s only staying with Tori because he’s backed into a corner’
Ben slams Ellie for being ‘vindictive’ on MAFS and claims she’s with Jono for ‘publicity’
‘She always played the victim’
Cast member Ben claims MAFS Australia 2024 producers mocked and ‘criticised’ his ADHD
‘I didn’t sign up to be taken advantage of through my mental health’
A look inside the wholesome life of Jessica Gunning who carried Baby Reindeer as Martha
I can’t believe she’s not actually Scottish