A Single Girl’s Guide: The Dos and Don’ts of Valentine’s Day

Claudia Fellerman offers her thoughts on Valentine’s Day for singletons.

Caitlin Moran cupid Sex and the single Valentines Day

On your own this V Day?

1. Don’t drink two bottles of wine on your own, surrounded by candles. It will end with you ringing your ex and bawling down the phone. Save your dignity.

2. Do read ‘How to be a Woman’ by Caitlin Moran or ‘My Life on a Plate’ by India Knight, nothing beats a bit of laugh out loud, ‘I am woman hear me roar’ literature.

3. HOWEVER, don’t read such ‘self-help’ books as Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, or How to find your perfect man. It’s pretty pathetic.

4. Don’t go to the cinema on your own to watch a chick flick. As above, this will do nothing for your dignity. Or your mascara – nobody wants to see you leaving the cinema looking like something out of a horror film, it will not help with the lack of boyfriend.

5. Don’t stalk your ex’s every move on Facebook. Nor should you read into every post or status update he makes. Just because he wishes someone Happy Birthday, does not mean they’re having sex.

6. Do make yourself look absolutely fabulous. It’s good for self esteem.

7. Don’t go to a romantic restaurant, either alone or with friends. Watching other couples smooch over spaghetti as they make gooey faces at each other will not cheer you up.

8. Do go out. Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to go out; all the taken guys are supposedly shacked up somewhere with their girlfriends. Time to shark.

9. However, don’t start crying on some poor lad’s shoulder about how your ex-boyfriend broke your heart and blah blah blah. It pretty much guarantees going home alone. Even your friends won’t want to be seen with you.

10. Don’t watch The Notebook. It’s sad enough every other day of the year, watching it on February 14th might just push you over the edge. But if you insist on staying in, do watch Sex and the City, one giant step for single girls everywhere.

11. Don’t spend the entire day tweeting about your misery. Let’s be honest, no one else really cares that much.

12. Do treat yourself. If people in relationships get presents, why shouldn’t we? Urban Outfitters have a fabulous range of Valentine’s Day gifts, but surely the Art of Dating book is more use to the single gal?

13. On the other hand, don’t send yourself 10 cards and brag about them to your friends. It’s weird.

14. Don’t spend the day pawing over photos of you and your ex. On holiday, at Christmas, on nights out, last Valentine’s Day. This will not help you.

15. Do put on some tunes and dance around your room, no sad songs à la Bridget Jones, but some upbeat numbers and maybe the odd power ballad, which are sure to cheer you up.

16. Don’t take the hearts theme too far and dress head to toe in Valentine’s Day related clothing. Everyone will think you’re mental.

17. Don’t eat yourself into oblivion. Stuffing your face with Ben and Jerry’s, chocolate and pizza will a) not help you get you a boyfriend b) not make you feel better c) make you throw up.

18. Do see it as just another day. Just because you don’t have a ‘Valentine’ doesn’t mean that you aren’t surrounded by people who love you.

Just a few thoughts. Take it or leave it…