Kiss Me, I’m Easy
ALEX MANSELL isn’t puckering up to any old fella
Desperation pulling. Most of you have probably been there, or have friends who’ve been there. The premise is that on a night out, many of us make the mistake of getting with people we aren’t all that attracted to, or who, to put it brutally, have done well to get with us.
Many friends, myself included, have had lacklustre experiences on the dance floor, and it’s not until the night’s over that we realise we weren’t all that bothered about pulling them at all. So why do we do it? A number of reasons spring to mind.
My experience tells me girls have totally different motivations to guys. One we both share might simply be boredom. You might be having a dull night out; can’t find your friends, can’t afford another shot, and if someone edges their way over to you with lustful intentions it’s almost a case of “Meh, why not?”
This, however, is undermining ourselves to the extreme. These lips are a privilege, not a right. That is what should be running through our minds, and yet it’s so easy to be like, “Take me, I’m yours”. It’s a pull for the sake of pulling.
Sadly, the case with girls is often that a cheeky pull can provide self-validation. Knowing someone wants you is an awesome feeling, and can give such an ego boost that many girls will get with any creature that shows them attention, purely out of sheer gratitude.
Particularly effective if they’re riding a self-esteem low that night (believe me, the amount of hot girls in the toilets bemoaning their imperfections is incredible). Guys can often sense this insecurity a mile off, and pounce on the pretty vulnerable one knowing she’ll be grateful for the interest.
Again, this is completely ridiculous, and an affliction difficult to cure. Wish I could go all Cosmo on you and say “GIRLS, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND YOU DESERVE BETTER AND YOU DON’T NEED NO MAN TO PROVE THAT" but I know it’s a lost cause.
So many other issues affect girls – emotional baggage from past relationships, competition with other females, the need to maintain a reputation, the list goes on… Fact is, girls will always worry, and will end up punching well below their weight as a result.
Guys, I’ve found, tend to have the opposite attitude. One of my friends once told me that when the lights come on in a club he and his mates do a mine sweep of girls, looking out for the aforementioned easy desperate ones. Although the esteem boost might factor into a guy’s desire to pull, call me cynical if I say I believe they do it mostly to get some action.
All that testosterone coursing through their body means a girl can be just a great alternative to a right hand. A sort of insulting and arrogant last chance saloon for those cowboys that don’t want to ride solo that night. I'm not saying all guys have this offensive attitude, but a scary amount do.
So many of my male friends that are attractive and fun and typical ‘nice’ guys say if they were horny they’d probably settle for pretty much anything. So for the poor girl that’s picked out and made to feel special, in reality she’s just another walking piece of anatomy for a guy to hopefully get stuck into.
Where is the fun, where is the *passion* in getting with someone you aren’t really into? Doing it for the psychological effect (the one that says “oh wow, someone likes me”, or in a guy’s case, “I guess she’ll do”) simply doesn’t cut it. It’s supposed to make you feel good on a physical level.
I know I said I wouldn’t go all Cosmo, but I feel I need to instil some sort of instructive message into this article. Mostly out of sheer frustration at the amount of people settling for anything and anyone on a night out. Many girls need to start recognising the good in themselves, and walk around with the attitude that they should be hunted, wanted, desired, that someone would be dayuuum lucky to get them.
And many guys should stop degrading themselves by taking anything that comes. It reduces both parties to no more than a piece of meat, and boys, you too should place more worth on yourselves, should treat your body as the V.I.P. area, and recognise your own market value.
It’s so easy to be easy, so make sure that you are always the challenge. That way you won’t have to endure that “what was I thinking?” feeling when seeing the pull the next morning on Facebook.