Student Outrage at Klute Takeover

Students are up in arms after it was announced that iconic Durham nightclub, Klute, will allegedly no longer serve quaddies as part of a glamorous makeover by the club’s new owners.

Now, student revellers will be confronted by a glossy menu including cocktails such as Swizzle Sticks and Strawberry Woo Woos, an exact replica of nearby Boathouse’s drinks menu, which is owned by the same company.

Not content with this upheaval, the club’s new owners have also revamped the interior decoration and are now offering table booking services and an ‘open door’ policy allowing locals in. Even the vintage Klute sign has been scrapped and replaced by a new one.

The club’s cheesy music policy has also fallen to the sword, being replaced by what was described as “different tunes each night for different tastes”. They will provide ‘the very best in tech, deep, funky and classic house” to the Elvet Bridge revellers. College nights have joined the casualty lists and will be replaced by free entrance before 11pm and £2 afterwards.

The fate of the continuous loop of vintage Rugby games played across the club’s screens is yet unknown but fashionistas can rest assured, the new dress code was described as “dressy”.

The club’s twitter account coined the actions as “starting a revolution” and students have not shirked away from the call, flocking to facebook to voice their discontent.

One observer commented, “I hope this is some sort of sick joke”, while another added “Basically… you’ve just made Klute a smaller studio? You sir, fail.”

Already, a guerilla campaign has sprung up in the form of a facebook group entitled, ‘Bring back real Klute’, which has attracted over 700 members in a few hours since its creation. Significantly, more than four times the amount of Klute’s official facebook page. Plans are afoot to hold a large boycott outside the club’s opening night on Sunday 15th January.

One maverick activist took it upon themselves to update Klute’s Wikipedia page, which now has a section entitled ‘Rebrand (January 2012)’.

The policy of allowing locals in and presumably stopping college nights has ruffled a few feathers. One student interjected “THEY’RE LETTING LOCALS IN!?!? Now I won’t be safe in my tweed and red trousers ANYWHERE.”

Some have sprung to the defence of the vilified changes. “Improve quality of nightclub; flood of hate and complaints from students. Christ, only in Durham…” commented one.

One possible benefit of the takeover is perhaps an improvement in the quality of the infamously despicable toilet facilities. One facebooker posted: ‘ I hope they finally get their toilet roll supplier sorted’, a plea surely echoed by all Durham students

In the face of overwhelming Durham militancy the new owners seem to have retreated, but not before a few reassuring words, “Klutettes, wait till you’ve been inside…It’s still Klute!”

With the closure of Studio at the end of last term (exclusively revealed by The One), poor takings across the city and the tepid reaction to Academy’s BYOB night, it seems Durham’s drink spots are failing to impress the discerning student.