The ten female friends that every girl needs to survive in Cov
She will 100% break into your ex’s house
Being a girl in Coventry is one hell of an experience. We came here to grow up, become adults in our own right, but what your parents never told you about was all the dramatic bullshit you are about to experience.
You need a special team with a very specific skillset to survive this new world. This is the team you need to protect you from fuckboys, softbois, dodgy landlords, bad grades, and general boredom. They'll make sure you graduate with stories so scandalous you'll take them to your grave.
The sweet but psycho friend
Your plumber did a shabby job? Your Tinder date turns out to be a dick? Boyfriend cheating on you? No problem. Call this friend up and she'll be sure to repay them in kind.
She's an IT genius and can't relate to phone call anxiety. She's got several fake Snapchat accounts to stalk people with and she's scary as hell. But she's also the sweetest. She's the one you want to break bad news to because her hugs are the BEST.
The friend who thinks she's Gossip Girl
This friend thinks she's in an episode of Pretty Little Liars. She will break into your ex's house to receive top secret information. She trusts no one. In fact you're pretty sure she wears a wire to store all your secrets.
She's the one man tactical team for your "Sweet but Psycho" friend, thinks she's a secret agent and takes no one's shit. She'll brace Hillfields at 2am to get that awesome Loco Juice and just so happen to see that girl you were bitching about.
The friend who thinks she's Bear Grylls
"Oh it's just around the corner!" but you've been walking for 50 minutes. This girl could walk all the way to Leamington Spa if you'd let her. She definitely did Duke of Edinburgh.
She's a survivor and honestly, you need to learn from her. She's always broke which is why you'll never catch her in an Uber, and she's always prepared for anything. She's told you at length her plans for a zombie apocalypse, just in case.
The problematic friend
You need to have someone who makes you feel like a stable adult by comparison. She's the angsty teenager of the family and she definitely lives off of Iceland microwaveable.
She tires you out so much, you don't even have the energy to have your own drama. In the end, she's the one who'll become the core of all the funniest stories you'll look back on in 10 years time.
The Hermione Granger friend
You've never needed anyone more. She walks in Lanchester Library like it's her kingdom and she is the queen. She's the only one who understands how to work the magic moving bookshelves. Every time you look at her booklet full of post-it notes and colourful essay notes, you want to get your shit together.
She's the rational one in the group. The one you call when it's three and the deadline is at six. She's the aggy older sister of the group and she's always done with your shit.
The friend who lives in CV1
This is the equivalent of having a mate who lives in London and asking if you can stay over every time you're in the city. She probably lives in student accommodation, early Gulson or Charterhouse near the library and you're definitely jel.
You regret moving into a house with those animals in CV-bloody-3. You always crash at hers before uni or after a night out. No one explicitly says it but she's about to have way too many guests over.
The friend who's attendance is under 20 per cent
She's a burnout and having a pre-quarter life crisis. She probably texts her weed dealer more regularly than her parents. She orders Deliveroo for multiple meals in a day. That's how you know someone's messy.
When you're having your off days, she always around and always down to go do something fun because the only thing she's doing is updating herself. She needs a hug, go give her one. Be a mess together.
The sports gal friend
She knows all the cute rugby boys and she knows which boys to swerve on Empire Wednesday's. The knowledge she possesses is invaluable. You NEED her in your life.
However, this girl is drama incarnate and you don't want any part of that sports beef. Everyone knows everyone and everyone has slept together. It's too much for you – please just help me locate the fit, not sexist sports boys and I'll duck out of the fighting. Thanks!
The Mum friend
She's everything your parents wish you were. She is the embodiment of responsibility and adulthood. Your uni mum is the reason you haven't dropped dead from vitamin deficiency.
But she's an absentee mother who's definitely looking for ways to sell us off. When she's not downing a bottle of Echo Falls, she's dancing the night away in the Indie Room in Kasbah because the kids are driving her nuts. Look after her, you need her.