All the reasons why pres are actually the best part of the night out
You’re a better DJ than the guy in the club anyway
We all know the drill. You have to drink at home because the drinks at the club are too expensive and who wants to be in JJ's when they're sober?
But it’s awkward sitting around at home just drinking so you play drinking games and loud music to drown out the tension.
This is how pres, a quintessential part of student life, came about. It’s basically a house party with a time limit.
Everyone has a sick time at pres. And then it always goes to shit when it's time to hit the club. So why not just stay at home and let the party go on? These are all the reasons why we think you should do just that.
You spend the night hiding in the bathroom
Clubbing is an intense experience. You get tired in every sense of the word and you need to be somewhere where the lighting isn't a bloody firework show and the grabby men are far in the distance.
For girls, the toilets are a refuge, a safe haven, a place of glorious social bonding. Some actually spend the whole night in the toilets and no, not just because their friend is vomiting, but because they actually enjoy being there.
The walk to the club is NOT the one
You're enjoying your time getting drunk and litty in your warm af house when someone starts screaming a few decibels too loudly "guys the tickets are only valid before midnight let's gooooo!" Oh no.
Yes that's right, the dreaded journey. Should you waste your money on an Uber or will you stick on a coat that you'll have to pay to put in the cloakroom because the club is too hot? Either way, the walk is icy cold, torturous and it's sobering you up – aka costing you money.
There are way less creeps at home
You know what we're talking about. That guy who starts trying to grind on you but looks like your dad. The other one who doesn't seem to understand that whispering "sweet nothings" in one's ear is a thing of the past and now it's an automatic turn off. Also you can't even hear him. It's a club for God's sake.
So unless your housemates are creeps, you're going to have a way more comfortable night out at your flat, hosting an all night pres with all your fave people and no weirdos in sight.
Someone always gets lost
You're so desperate to find the friend that wandered off that you're even checking SnapMaps. But then you remember that your friend has techno-paranoia and they're on bloody ghost mode. There is no hope.
Someone always gets lost on a night out or just flat out disappears and it's the most annoying thing. You spend the night searching for your friends rather than having a good time with them.
And we can all relate to either finding them vomiting in a toilet or eating someone's face off in the corner. Ew.
Being the Mum™ is stressful
You're the one who doesn't get drunk. You drink, but you can still walk in a relatively straight line and you always remember the night before. Being flat out 'gone' is just not your idea of a good time. Being you is awesome because you get to remember all the crazy nonsense that your friends were doing and you've got archives to prove it.
However, it also means holding your friend's hair back when she throws up, fighting off drunken creeps and pulling your brother from another mother out of the road while he's acting like a fool. The list goes on.
And all us Nightlife Mums know that this job is a lot easier when it's restricted to the comfort of your own home. Although your grown-ass children will always find ways to cause trouble.
Making friends is so much easier at pres
It's the most annoying thing when you're trying to have a conversation with someone new, maybe even your future baby daddy *wink wink* but the shitty DJ is playing music so loud you can feel it in your bloodstream.
So what? Are we supposed to just jump around to dodgy house music all night and not speak to anyone? If you want to have a conversation, you have to go to the smokers. That's right. You paid a fiver entry to spend all night in smokers.
— 브리아나 (@PerceptiveBree) July 16, 2016
You can't wear fresh white creps to a dirty club
Oh Lord. You must be stupid. Did you actually think it would be good idea to wear your Adidas 16+ Purecontrol ultraboost WHITE trainers to the club? Just drop out now.
You see Oliver over there? Yeah him. His main goal each night is to find someone's white trainers and STEP on them. Oliver is an asshole and there's at least ten Olivers in every club, every night.
But guess what? If you just stay at home, we promise you, Oliver won't be there. And if he is, he's probably your friend, which means if he ruins your shoes you can force him to buy you Maccies breakfast in the morning as pay back.
Clubbing is hella expensive
Let's be real. We're students and we can barely afford to get IN the club some days, let alone buying overpriced alcoholic drinks that you depend on to actually have a good time. This is one of the main reasons why going out is such a drag.
At home, you can get cheap drinks at the local corner store and you can CHOOSE what music you want. That's right. You are your own DJ and there's free entry because you're at home – obviously. Plus there's no fear about checking your bank statement the morning after your night out, because you didn't leave the house! Just one of the many, many benefits of pres.