Everything a basic bitch in Coventry spends her money on
IKEA trips with this one x
Student finance is a blessing and a curse. Either you spend your maintenance loan wisely (yeah right) or you spend it recklessly on Primark blankets and Sourz shots in JJ's, like the true basic bitch you really are.
There are many things that basic bitches in Cov just can't live without. Like that life-saving daily sneaky Starbucks from the engineering building on the way to your 9am lecture. You expect me to cut that out of my day? Frankly I'd rather die.
A basic bitch has her needs, and these are all of the reasons that she is six hundred quid deep into her overdraft (and counting).
K Rush is ultimate basic bitch goals
Every student knows that no night out is complete without it ending in K Rush surrounded by copious amounts of chicken nuggets and chips.
Drunken snorting and laughing with all your gal pals while you wait to devour the questionable chicken is the one, there's no doubt about it. You know your bank account will regret it the next day but drunk you just does not care.
Also, extra basic bitch points if you end up in Benny's. The most basic place of all.
£3.50 JJ's entry? Count me in
Are you really a basic bitch if you don't end up in JJs after three pitchers of Purple Rain? Plus, you couldn't care less about the sticky floors and constant repetition of Mr Brightside because it literally cost you £3.50 to get in.
The only way to make this night bearable is to drink it away using contactless, which you'll forget about until it comes through on your bank statement a week later. Regrets.
You even begrudgingly reply back to the DJ when he asks if you go to Coventry uni, but at least you copped an inflatable flamingo. Every basic bitch has at least one JJ's inflatable.
Friday night at Kasbah is heaven
Kasbah on a Friday is the elixir of life for a basic bitch. Nobody can resist Kinky Fridays and it gives you and your gal pals a bit more of an excuse to slut it up, dress code wise. The £1.50 Jagerbombs and cheap VKs allow for an interesting night as you can get white girl wasted on just £10.
These sugary concoctions pumping through your veins means you have enough energy to last until 5am when Kasbah finally closes and you can get a greasy burger from Spice Lounge and eventually stumble home, heels in hand.
Fairy lights are your life
If your first purchase at uni wasn't fairy lights from the Cov IKEA, are you really even a basic bitch?
£2 love heart fairy lights from Primark, why not? You can never have too many, right? In total your fairy lights collection probably ends up costing a fortune but you keep up your addiction and accept that one day all the fairy lights in your room will swallow you whole.
IKEA day trips
Basic bitches love IKEA and who wouldn't? It's one of the only appealing places in Cov. Planning out your future kitchen and chomping down on some meatballs is the key to basic bitch happiness.
You end up buying the huge candles on the way out even though you said you wouldn't…but once that wave of guilt passes you make another solid investment in some throw pillows and stuffed animals which you DEFINITELY needed, and then you're good to go.
£3 meal deals are essential for any library trip
Every student knows how important food is in the library. You can't get through even a mere 30 minutes in the prison-esque building without a snickers by your side.
Every basic bitch knows the struggle when you spend more time deciding what meal deal to buy than you spend writing your actual essay.
But those 100 words you get done are probably the best you've ever written…probably.
Primark is your bank account's worst nightmare
Yeah that's right, even though it's cheap af it will drive you even deeper in to your overdraft. You go into the store with the intent of buying a pair of tights but then spend roughly £40 on fluffy blankets and candles. And you forgot to get the tights.
If you're really extra you'll also buy anything rose gold, four pairs of matching PJs and some Harry Potter paraphernalia. This just about settles your basic bitch needs.
But we all know theres no shame in rocking up to the club in fresh Primarni because we all do it. Fly your basic bitch flag with pride.
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